How do you handle a break up?

[normxb]

Hi All , ( Maybe a bit O/T)
Sorry I can't offer any advice on getting over break-ups , the only thing is tell you how I've got on .

Next May , the Mrs & I have been married for 30 years (yep 3 life term's : ) I was 24 , Mrs 22 .
We started going out in 10th Oct. 1976 (Wow , still remember) and got married 6th May 1978 . I guess we are one of the Few Lucky ones , Out of All my mates who I used to hang out with from about 17y/o's ,(bout 17-18 of us) I'm the only one that's only been married Once .Quite a few have been married 2x's , couple 3x's and 2 of them have been married "5 times".

I don't think there's any "Magic Formula" , just luck , we both basically "did our own thing" , I was a Muso , so Fri. & Sat. nights were MY nights , that was our party time because she came too : . Sunday was her day , we went anywhere the Mrs wanted to go Unless I was Car Racing (sometimes she came too). For the first 9 years , she had her friends , so went with them sometimes . (Tupperware Parties etc. those days) Worked at Dulux Paints . had her own car , So we never lived "in each other's pockets"

One of the things that helped was we didn't start a family for 9 years , it really takes at least 2-3 years at least to get to know each other Properly .

When we had our first baby , she said " Ok , this is my job now , look after the family " . Don't get me wrong , we've had our "Up's & Downs" over the years , but we're still talking to each other . Main thing we "Gave each other space".

I've seen my mates go through break-ups ,it hurts , but it's better that way , it's not worth to either party to try and stay together . Life is too short .

One other thing I don't agree with , is to "Stay together because of the kid's" (if you have any) Kids know when there's problems .

So All I can say is " When you find the Right person , you'll know" (most times). Then it's All Give & Take

Hope this helps someone , even a little bit.

Norm

[digitalpunk]

Wow, this thread just keeps popping up and will not go away.

It just ended between me and my girlfriend earlier this afternoon, we were going out for a year and a half. We lived together and I supported her while she was working parttime and studying, I should be happy, I mean, I can start living my life now and the money I earn will stay with me, but there is a big part of me that is now empty, it will be filled one day, I know that, but right now the pain is there and feels like it will never go away.

It was complicated but in the end we both just agreed that we weren't happy and it wasn't working. There was a time where we both needed each other, I was off the rails when we meet and needed her support, she gave me confidence which I never had before, and she needed me to mature that gained her a new lease on life, unfortunately though, after that, we found we just fell out of love with one another. We are meeting up on Friday night to talk about things, but think a week apart will be good for each other. She wants to remain friends, I don't think that will be a good idea, anyway, that's life I guess.

[T-BOOST]

I have to agree with some of the previously mentioned posts and say,
theres nothing better to get over a relationship than having sex with some random chick. if your not good at picking up or lost your touch. go to the pros.
It doesn't fix everything but geez you feel so much better, and i think it helps you move on and forget.

[GT0132]

Originally Posted by digitalpunk

Wow, this thread just keeps popping up and will not go away.

It just ended between me and my girlfriend earlier this afternoon, we were going out for a year and a half. We lived together and I supported her while she was working parttime and studying, I should be happy, I mean, I can start living my life now and the money I earn will stay with me, but there is a big part of me that is now empty, it will be filled one day, I know that, but right now the pain is there and feels like it will never go away.

It was complicated but in the end we both just agreed that we weren't happy and it wasn't working. There was a time where we both needed each other, I was off the rails when we meet and needed her support, she gave me confidence which I never had before, and she needed me to mature that gained her a new lease on life, unfortunately though, after that, we found we just fell out of love with one another. We are meeting up on Friday night to talk about things, but think a week apart will be good for each other. She wants to remain friends, I don't think that will be a good idea, anyway, that's life I guess.

Good luck mate.. You'll move on....You may think you'll never recover but it is amazing, and so damn true, how time heals champ.

It's always a nice way out for them to say they wanna stay friends, but honestly if I look back on my love life I can honestly say I'm not friends with any of my exes who wanted to remain friends...hell I wouldn't even know how to contact any of them and we're all probably living in different parts of the world now for all I know and couldn't care less anyway.

Even my first wife I haven't heard from in 14 years. My second wife and I are still friendly but only because we have 2 kids. If it wasn't for that I'd have nothing to do with her due to the betrayal I suffered at her hands.

Had my share of casual flings but not because of loneliness , moreso to see if the plumbing still worked....and whether I could still relate to women after bing in a long marriage. Those women were in teh same boat as me and there was no animosity but not long term prospects if you get me.

I've used the 12 months apart to rediscover who I am, enjoy myself and have some fun, beers with the boys (although that can be hard if most of your mates are in relationships, or married as mine moslty are) and will soon go about finding someone more permanent. The last thing you want to do is bring old wounds into a new relationship, recipe for failure.

Cheers

[GT0132]

Oh and by the way , you may laugh, but RSVP.com is thoroughly recommended if you wanna start dating...Its a hoot and I've had a bit of luck on there

[HOON69]

havent had a major break up in almost a decade so dunno how it feels but back then
i just tried to live day by day and stay positive etc
and never get a rebounder as they always complicate things ten folds :

[digitalpunk]

Ah boy, it is going to be a tough few months. We have spoken a bit this week, over the phone and via email. She wants to remain friends for now and see where it takes us. The problem was we were both trying to save for a European holiday so we both never went out and practically lived in our apartment. We got sick of each other pretty quickly, I was paying her rent and bills as she was a student and I am earning enough to support her, but the downside was, we couldn't afford to have fun off my wage, it was just enough for general living and nothing was left over for entertainment. She began feeling guilty, plus life got too boring for her so she decided that she would like to go back to her parents where she could live her life there and not rely on me to pay for anything. But instead of talking to me about it, she decided that she was sick of me and to take the easy option she left me with everything.

Anyway, if things work out between us I plan to stay in our apartment on my own. I am willing to give it a few months to see where we go. If they don't work out, I am going to move back in with my parents, save as much as I can, then next year I am going to go to Europe on my own for 5-6 weeks. Come back to my olds again, save, then buy my own place. My life plans completely changed when we began going out, now I want to get my life back on track.

[Mark351]

Onions

[cupic]

Ring up me mates and party again

[XR8Master]

Being single is awesome, sometimes I wish I still was...

Go out and party, r00t all the s!uts you can find then dump em off and go look for the next one.

Drink heaps of pi$$ and go out with ur mates

Life isnt worth wasting over a female

[cupic]

LOL nothing changes