Who still talks to family members ???

[Charliewool]

It's threads like this that truly make me appreciate just how lucky I am! Merry christmas to all you guys and I hope that some of these rocky relationships can be restored. We are dead a very long time, and alive barely a blink.

[The Yeti]

Edit

Some things shouldnt be aired this way

[302 XC]

Originally Posted by Charliewool

It's threads like this that truly make me appreciate just how lucky I am! Merry christmas to all you guys and I hope that some of these rocky relationships can be restored. We are dead a very long time, and alive barely a blink.

Its great that theres many families that are still tight, for a better word ....
This thread has been an eye opener and im sure there are more who wont post on a public forum, but thats the way it goes
The wifes family was very very close many years ago,when family functions we organised everyone turned up, parents,kids,grandkids,any or all respective partners,was a huge gathering,even for birthdays, just huge
Then someone thru a spanner in the works,cant disclose, that started the ripple, then when the mother in law fell real sick,the claws came out,it was shocking for a woman who gave her last buck to anyone,that not even off this world and people were like vultures
She is still here,the old dear, but the family now not maybe 10 years later,is a scattered mess

[gtfpv]

crikes this thread is sad . i was thinking to myself how could this be??? all these people .
but then i thought of my own situation , never met my grand parents on dads side , as they lived overseas and i was never taken to meet them , nor did they ever come to see us . . wifes parents shipped up and moved state to queensland 5 years ago leaving us and there only 2 grand kids aged 9 and 7 at the time , now we only see them once a year , and i have to buy them an icecream or coffee just so my kids can think thier grandparents bought them an icecream .
my wifes sister doesnt even speak to us , but come over for a free feed every now and then , and her and her husband wont give us thier address , so i dont know where they live , all i know is that its in a caravan in his parents back yard . they are 47 and 37 .
.
and here i was thinking how sad it is that no one speaks to family . i speak to all my side and my wifes , try hard not to hold any grudges , but god its hard .


i once watched a video , saying that humans are all the disgracefull souls , imprisoned on planet earth for eternity , and every life we get our memory wiped and live again , which stops us from developing into pure evil over billions of years . any species who comes near earth gets trapped and permanantly imprisoned , and memory wiped forever , while others get sentenced here for eternity .
it was an amazing story ,
reading this thread gives some plausability to that story .

[Russ]

It's quite sad to hear when families can't or won't communicate with each other :( I consider myself very lucky to have a close and loving family and although we all live a few hours drive away from each other we try to catch up whenever possible. Christmas for most is a happy time where family and friends get together and enjoy each others company but unfortunately for many others it's a nightmare of a time which brings anger, jealousy and sadness. Whatever your situation may be I wish you all a Merry Xmas and a Happy and prosperous New Year, take care, be responsible, and try to relax and enjoy it

CHEERS

[gtxb67]

i don't talk to the father or sister - haven't since 98. have seen and ignored him at the grand prix on a few occasions

i don't find the fact we don't talk sad. maybe the fact that i don't care about no having contact, because i should care i guess

they say life is too short to hold grudges, but i think it is too short to waste time with people who you don't get along with

[The Yeti]

You know what

Last night I was fuming that my sister could be so disrespectful and selfish, but I've decided I have to put up with a lot of people I only see 4 or 5 times a year, I'm not going to let it get to me or I won't enjoy the rest of the Christmas get togethers

[ford71V8]

Originally Posted by supershifty

....I would not hesitate to help a family member if I was asked, and in a position to help out. Except one ....

I have a sister who's a judgemental, self righteous, condescending, materialistic, image conscious female dog. She refers to me as her "drunken bum half brother". Nice! Needless to say we don't talk - ever!
Cheers!

I wrote a post out for this thread but deleted it as it was fairly ugly, so I snatched this piece from Supershifty's post as it is remarkably accurate for my situation.
The fact that I don't see parents on Xmas day is because that's where they will be and they always choose the same way every year.
The only reason it bothers me is that my kids don't see their grandparents on Xmas day. And I know it could happen, we're all close enough location wise for it to be very simple...but no.

[mad-xa]

i have a fantastic family i talk to my great wife and my 2 children who are now thoughtfull and considerate adults ,we moved away from the rest of the issues and enjoy our family get togethers far more ,recently my male parent died and i was surprised that i was contacted for the funeral, travelled to go but didnt make it do to train work but was given the dvd to watch probly wont be too long before 2nd parent passes...

[tex]

The key to close family relationships is the 'elders' pulling everyone else together. Without that central, vital influence, the family unit inevitably withers.

Disfunctional extended families is not uncommon. The sad thing is, it would seem disfunctional immediate families is also not uncommon. Parents / children not speaking, holding grudges about past things spoken, opinions and actions taken mostly in the heat of argument and when backed into corners.

It does bring a lot of hope though to read so many trying (and succesfuly) breaking the cycle. I am one of those people, never been close with either of my folks. Our relationship was more from 'respect' taught, rather than a sense of desire to be around them, with them, spending time with one another.

And now I have an opportunity to close that cycle and damn, I'm doing my best to have a vastly different relationship with my own child. I want to be friends with them, not just a parent .

[T3ts50]

Originally Posted by au3xr6

without going into details I'll just say you can pick your friends but you can't pick your relatives.

I used to think like that, but when crap hit the fan with me, my family were the first to help out, where a lot of friends I considered close with pretty much jump shipped.

[ZA-289]

My large extended family all talk and get along like a house on fire. people think we are all wierd.....

[302 XC]

Originally Posted by T3ts50

I used to think like that, but when crap hit the fan with me, my family were the first to help out, where a lot of friends I considered close with pretty much jump shipped.

You can pick genuine people morso in a time of need,rather than a time of greed

Its funny how many people we get to know over many years,but when the beer dries,the money dries,you move more than a street away
They cant be bothered
Theres a word for them,parasites

[ea90gl]

From what I see these days, the family that all get along are the odd ones out, so many families out there that have drama going on and unfortunately from the most silly little things like "oh she said this, he said that....". My family and relatives probably don't speak to each other/ catch up as much as we should but at least we all make efforts for special occasions etc. We all try to give a lending hand in time of need, other than that everyone leaves each other alone. I get along well with the wife's immediate family as do they with each other, but it's a bit different once the relatives come into the equation. There is a long history between my wife, her sister and mother vs the aunty and her two daughters. Yes they do make the effort to keep in touch and be all close but it all seems forced, and never mind the gossip and fakeness that inevitably rears it's ugly head in. On the other hand it could be worse like others have mentioned with people not speaking etc but sometimes I think that's probably the easier way. I believe someone mentioned it's the oldies that keep the younger families together which is so very true, I sometimes wonder what things will be like once they pass on, will we all drift apart without that influence or will everyone come to their own senses and make a genuine effort? I guess time will tell but for now I like to keep to my self and go with the flow, got no time for the real Day's Of Our Lives

[revcore]

I talk to all of my family members on a regular basis. Even though I don't live close to my family I stay in contact with them via phone and email (Mum and my younger brother live in Melbourne, Aunties and uncles and cousins live close to Melbourne and my older brother lives in Sydney). Believe it or not I still speak to my father even though he passed away back in January 2005. When ever I'm feeling depressed I speak to him as I would have when he was alive...I know it sounds crazy but it does actually help.

[Windsor220]

Close with immediate family. Never speak to anyone else

[TATT2]

Only person in my family i talk to is my mum, have sisters that i havent spoken to in yrs

[LG17]

Got one of those extremely impersonal talking texts from my wife's cousin and his new tunnel yesterday - we hung up half way through. If they can't be bothered to phone, we couldn't be bothered to listen.

[Madaya]

Sitting here on the back patio. Sundown. Sprinkler doing its best to save the lawn from what was a pretty hot day - the lawn is not bigger than your lounge room, so doesn't drink too much, feels good. The local speedway with the sprint cars can be heard in the background, kids a few houses away, sounds like a waterslide thing happening. A few mid beers, cause I'll be driving soon.

From an earlier post..."My younger brother, I have not actually spoken to (in casual conversation) for about 15 years."

Well, what do you know. Went to his house and chatted with him this morning, even gave him a man hug. Lets hope things will mend.

Happy (as HM says) Christmas.

[XAH03]

My best mate is my Dad, we have the exact same personality and that makes us clash at times, but we're still best mates. My mum is the rock in our family, always to keep our feet on the ground, she's worth her weight in gold. I've got 2 younger brothers(24,21), they are both into cars and have stable healthy jobs and relationships. There's 4 years between me and the middle one but we act like twins and do most things on the weekends together, the 3 of us drive B series falcons (2 turbos, 1 NA xr6) so we have a common interest and I would do anything for them if the time arose.
My wife is loved by my family which makes us all close.

All my mums side of the family all keep in contact via Facebook and the phone. They all live down on the NSW central coast but there's always a catch up with everyone at some time of the year.
There's not much of my dads side, only his aunty who we talk to and the 3 cousins who we talk from time to time. Dads got a brother who disappeared for a while and then popped up just before their mum passed and then had a whinge about funeral costs so he was politely told to jam it. Mums mum is still going strong, but pop passed 3yrs ago, which was hard.

I've got a half sister from my dads previous relationship before he met my mum. I've never met her, I went through her register at Kmart when I was a young fella without even knowing it. Her mind was filled with crap from her mum about dad which made her not want to have any contact with us. I've found her on Facebook and have often thought about making contact with her but not sure on the best way to do it or what to say.

My wife's family are all great, a good bunch of welcoming kiwis, always keen for a beer and a good slab of cooked meat on the BBQ.

Reading some of these stories makes me realize I've got a good family and shouldn't take them for granted. Some people have good reasons not to talk but some just don't make sense.
Maybe I will make contact with my sister when the time is right.....

[Uncle Niceguy]

all of our family are still quite tight every year some one hosts christmas (normally Granddad but he just recently passed away in September) so everyone in sydney travelled up to my parents house for christmas and my sisters 21st, in a couple days my mum was the youngest of 11 so huge family but we all pitch tents and have a great time!!! I'm finding it better now that we are all maturing witch is great cause it means there are no lil terrors to look out for i even flew over from perth just for it. on my dads side l have two uncles that l talk to every now and then but not often because they live in Moruya (pronounced Maria) in NSW witch is remote running a dairy farm, but apart from that family life is awesome.

[BPXR6T]

I'm well and truly the black sheep. As an adult I now see there was always a deep inexplicable dislike for me within the family, borderline hatred. I haven't spoken to anyone from my extended family in around 10 maybe 15 years and tbh I'm pretty sure they've forgotten I even existed. Which suits me.

[Trevor 57]

On family relationships, it is my observations that quite often it can be the 'in-laws' that can bring mischief into a family, when kids marry, their partners can bring their opinions and views which can be contrary to the families, I have seem families torn apart by sister-in-laws, brother-in-laws, daughter-in-laws and son-in-laws getting in between siblings about parents in particular

[302 XC]

Originally Posted by Trevor 57

On family relationships, it is my observations that quite often it can be the 'in-laws' that can bring mischief into a family, when kids marry, their partners can bring their opinions and views which can be contrary to the families, I have seem families torn apart by sister-in-laws, brother-in-laws, daughter-in-laws and son-in-laws getting in between siblings about parents in particular

Lets not forget the damage father in laws and mother in laws can do

I have this beleif ,if your happy in your life who am i ,wether a relative ,friend,or on looker to really comment
I dont have to wake up next to whom you choose,i dont have to put up with the day to day antics of whom you choose

Regardless of who we are ,or who we like to be, or want to become, we all have made mistakes in life, some small ,some huuuuuge
Its called life, learning and living
The stone throwing from the glass house residents,thats what annoys me

[poppa smurf]

I had a few long winded response's all written up to place in here but I disposed of them......I've tried a few times to place a post but had to leave it

I've teared up reading many posts and simply have no answer ......except please try just once more and if the family cannot be reconciled then take solace in this little excerpt

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time.....well it goes on but gets a bit too churchy for me.....

the guts of it is enough.......that which we cannot change we must learn to accept......make sure you cannot change it first though......give it one hell of a go first

family is everything to me...most of the mob are still here, some have gone to return for new years......we have our "moments" but I make sure we either go to bed or part on good terms no family member is to leave angry....everything, no matter how bad it seems today can be sorted out

however.......I do realise sometimes family members simply cant get along......I dont know why .........but I look at my mob with extreme pride and I would do anything, anywhere, anytime to help them along

I dont think I could walk the earth anymore without my family........friends are good but family is family........anyway I've got a train set to assemble, a car set that needs new batteries and half a dozen barbie dolls hair that needs brushing......my youngest granddaughter is on my knee (12 months)...

one of us has got a dirty bum and I dont think its me (well I hope not)....so nappy time.......please folks try once more and if it doesn't work out then at least you've tried

[gtxb67]

Originally Posted by Trevor 57

On family relationships, it is my observations that quite often it can be the 'in-laws' that can bring mischief into a family, when kids marry, their partners can bring their opinions and views which can be contrary to the families, I have seem families torn apart by sister-in-laws, brother-in-laws, daughter-in-laws and son-in-laws getting in between siblings about parents in particular

there is probably a huge element of truth in your post

my brother in law and mum/stepfather don't get along which no doubt helped creating the rift between them

however, my problems with my father and sister are totally due to myself and my father/sister. she once claimed it was due to me having problems with her husband, maybe because she wasn't interested in looking for the real reason for our problems. that isn't suggesting that i was not part of the problem though

[tankclare]

I heard my uncle was sick again and told he may only last another 2 years so done the best I could contacting my cousins and organising everything to get them here for christmas. We even drove down to pick half of them up as they couldn't all fit in one car.

Anyway they originally planned on staying for the week but only lasted 1 night. My cousin and her boyfriend were fighting so were in moods, my other little cousin was whinging as well as the boyfriend. I cooked up a nice BBQ and we organised a big lunch. Pretty much as soon as lunch was over my cousin and her boyfriend, little cousin and uncle went outside with a couple of bags and left and went home without even saying what they were doing or any good bye. We didn't even know they had left we just thought they were talking out the front. They left behind my other cousin and his missus and their 6 month old son. We had a good arvo chatting away but that night bub became crook and didnt have his medicine so we had to drive them home leaving here at 11pm.

Got to love the joys of family sometimes.

[TheSneakiness]

I text Mum every so often and my grandmother as well so that's good for me. I tolerated my step dad but now couldn't care less about him. My two brothers, the less said the better the bloody alcos and stoners.

I love my in-laws as they are a real family. Everyone is close but because of my upbringing I tend to show jealously and this impacts them negatively which turns my wife against me and I hate it.

I havent seen or even heard from my real Dad since we moved to QLD in 1997. Ive tried looking but dont even to where to look or even know if hes alive. I have cousins who live up the road from me (literally 10 minutes away) but talking to them is awkward cause of what happened.

[vanman_75]

With such a huge family it has been impossible to even know all their names 26 uncle/ aunties + there partners all having large families puts my cousin count well over 200 ...half in England half in Australia , Facebook has put a few in my friends list but that's about it .mum left at 10 but came back a few years ago. Dad left to Fiji 15 yrs ago but back every few months , daughter moved with her mother to Melbourne as a baby , but we are close I guess what I wished for would be a smaller family , but that's life .I have no problems with any family to my knowledge and my close family are nutbags that argue a lot bit I'm the glue between em ( god bless em lol ) love em all with all their idiosyncrasies...life's to short to hate .to op yes lots I don't talk to but more because I don't know em ha ha ..

Learned a lesson from my exs family when their grandfather( who beat on the wife and kids his whole life ) was in his dying months was forgiven, and cared for by them ...his final days apologizing to all for the things he done , its never too late to mend broken bridges .

[zilo]

My mothers side of the family are evil people.

I only ever see them to attend their funerals with my 4 brothers and sisters.
We are usually the only ones not weeping.

They did something truly evil to us 5 kids, we were all under 8 and they put us in institutions when our parents were killed tragically.

We go for confirmation that they are in fact dead.