Feel like doing damage

[SSD-85]

Originally Posted by b2tf

I can relate, I left a school in year 10 because of stuff like this. I still to this day will not acknowledge any of the pieces of #@% involved in it (who now all pretend it never happened) and I will not by any means slow down if theyre in the middle of the street. I hate them, despise them and hope they all get whats coming to them - and that I'm there to see it.

Bullies are the lowest form of scum on the earth and should all be shot on sight.

I can massively relate to this. I left school in Year 11 not only because of kids bullying, but also teachers. From a shaky-teen-psychological-mindframe, I was quite literally on the verge of walking in one day & attempting to kill them all.

(No i am NOT crazy, and NO i dont want to go postal on anyone, JUST SO WE ARE ALL CLEAR ON THAT)

Looking back on it, I dont hate any of them. In fact, i dont care if their lives are wonderful to this day. I have forgiven their responses to my attempt on interacting with the world at that time.

However, if any try to make my sons life miserable, then they WILL experience the fullest extent of my wrath. He is Autistic, & at present cannot respond appropriately to such things.

[madwag]

i feel for you and its a terrible situation and i hope it gets sorted soon. Id like to post this video here, its a little off topic but still relevant to raising you children right. I found it very interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHCuA0KnITY

[Benny D]

my son (4 years old) was being bullied while i was at the local indoor beach vollyball centre havin fun.
he was in a court with a couple other kids similar age throwing the ball around and having a great laugh while i was playing a game.
the manager of the centre advises me that my son had spilt some water in the sand and i would have to go scoop out the wet sand and i didnt have a problem with that, until i went down to the end court and saw what was happening.
some 15 year old was gettin the vollyball and kicking it at my son at 1-2 metres away. i watched him do it once, glancing off my sons arm and my son said he didnt like it.
then the older boy runs past, grabbing the ball and proceeded to kick the ball right into my sons face.
my son way crying because of the pain and sand in his eyes. i was sooo f**ken angry i ran down the centre, jumped on the court, picked up the kid and threw him across the court. then i picked him up by his neck and told him if he trys that shlt again ill break his f**ken legs and then his neck.

this is when i discover his mum was standing right beside the court watching her son kick the vollyball at my son. i told her to go ****** herself for being a uselees piece of f**ken shlt and all sorts of nice language as i was really pumped up.

and result that kid was never seen at vollyball again, even though it sorta wasnt the right thing to do.. i was fuming

[sneaky]

i might be way off the mark here, but do schools have to operate under the same OHS/WHS policies that workplaces do? i know kids are not employees, but they have no choice but to attend school and it is a government building..

surely the education dept or schools would have policies in place for dealing with this or escalating the problem above the priciple.. might be worth a look.

i'm hoping i don't have to deal with this garbage when my kids are in school, but i'm guessing most people have to to some degree..

good luck with everything

[Bucknaked]

That mother needs to be taught a lesson. Sounds too me like she is an inbred bogan who is the one who sets an example for her feral kid. I would complain again to the police. Everyday until they do something about it.

Maybe find another school.

[wrongwaynorris]

" The education department takes this kind of situation very seriously...no matter what state you are in. "

No they do not , they all have namby pamby anti bullying policies which are largely rhetoric and motherhood statements . My eldest son was bullied ( despite several informal and formal approaches to the principal and Education dept ) until my younger ( but bigger ) son laid the ******** bully flat on his back as they ( Principal / Education dept ) would do NOTHING AT ALL . They then attempted to suspend my youngest until a letter from our solicitor arrived at which stage they backpeddled so furiously it made your head spin .

[Jim Goose]

Originally Posted by Ford_XR603

Do you live in Kelso Jim?

Hell no!!! or even garbutt!!! lol

[wrongwaynorris]

Originally Posted by Benny D

my son (4 years old) was being bullied while i was at the local indoor beach vollyball centre havin fun.
he was in a court with a couple other kids similar age throwing the ball around and having a great laugh while i was playing a game.
the manager of the centre advises me that my son had spilt some water in the sand and i would have to go scoop out the wet sand and i didnt have a problem with that, until i went down to the end court and saw what was happening.
some 15 year old was gettin the vollyball and kicking it at my son at 1-2 metres away. i watched him do it once, glancing off my sons arm and my son said he didnt like it.
then the older boy runs past, grabbing the ball and proceeded to kick the ball right into my sons face.
my son way crying because of the pain and sand in his eyes. i was sooo f**ken angry i ran down the centre, jumped on the court, picked up the kid and threw him across the court. then i picked him up by his neck and told him if he trys that shlt again ill break his f**ken legs and then his neck.

this is when i discover his mum was standing right beside the court watching her son kick the vollyball at my son. i told her to go ****** herself for being a uselees piece of f**ken shlt and all sorts of nice language as i was really pumped up.

and result that kid was never seen at vollyball again, even though it sorta wasnt the right thing to do.. i was fuming

I disagree , I think it was exactly the right thing to do as this sort ( mother and son ) only understand one thing , FORCE . They live by the sword they die by the sword . Both mother and son are real vermin and should be treated as such .

[BHDOGS]

It's funny people say I punched them hit them physically and it stopped but it's not recommended or the right thing when infact it is humans are a stupid species and physical pain is sometimes the only way to get people to learn a lesson especially children who are stupid bring back the cane and smaking kids and get this **** sorted this namby pamby approach doesn't work

[SpoolMan]

Keep it at an mature level of discussion and surely we can get our point across without having to dodge the swear filter..

[GTP owner]

I feel for you AU Mont, but I think you are going about things the wrong way, and potentially inflaming the situation.
Firstly - I know what it is like to be bullied. I was assualted daily as a kid in primary school, and used to have urine thown at me, my lunch stood on, my bags destoyed, and I had no friends. It was brutal, humilating, and some of the worst memories of my life. The sad thing is that I then took my anger and pain out on my little brother, and made his life just as bad, which is what many kids do who are bullied - they become one themselves.

So with that in mind, I think you need to ask yourself how do you show your child the right thing to do, without creating a bully by teaching self-defence (read: violent responses). If anything, your wife showing up at the parents' place is inflaming the situation. They will take that as threatening and respond in kind, hence the result you got. It is very difficult to be calm and rational when you are confronting the parents in their home territory, so don't do it.

Secondly, you need to sit down with your kid and explore how they are coping, what is actually bothering them, and what they might be doing to aggravate the other kids. What bothers your son might not be what you think. And your son might also be inflaming things with his behaviour too. I am not trying to blame the victim, but how he interacts with his peers might give you insight in how to deal with things.
As an example, you seem very quick to fire up and respond with aggression when faced with this difficult situation. Does this actually help, or hinder your solution to it?

Next is asking what your son wants to happen. He might be ashamed that you step in and become angry with the parents and the principal. He may also use it as a threat to the other kids (as in "my dad will get you").

You also need to patch things up with the staff and principal. You are not going to get anywhere if you have them offside. Swallow your pride, get in there and have a sensible conversation. If you can't do this, then you are part of the problem too.
You can also ask to see if they have initiated their anti-bullying plan. If they have not, then you need to ask how they are going to maintain their duty of care to the students involved (yours and the perpetrators). As an example - what occurs if your son does violently react back and breaks an arm? Will you be held laible for the medical costs?

If all of that fails, there is always home schooling, or taking him out and placing him in another school.
My bullying only stopped when I was moved to a better school.

I hope that is of some help.

[GTP owner]

Originally Posted by BHDOGS

It's funny people say I punched them hit them physically and it stopped but it's not recommended or the right thing when infact it is humans are a stupid species and physical pain is sometimes the only way to get people to learn a lesson especially children who are stupid bring back the cane and smaking kids and get this **** sorted this namby pamby approach doesn't work

I think you illustrate your point very well in your single sentence about intelligence.
They hit your kid, you teach your kid to hit back. Maybe you should teach the kids to break their arm as well, just to make sure. And while you are at it, go and assualt the parents too, because they would have learned to be a bully off them.
Have you even stopped to think that perhaps the kid only knows how to interact with this type of behaviour? That the kid may never have been given a hug their entire life, and dad always belts him when he is angry? How can your child reacting with violence to this change anything? You are just becoming part of the problem, not part of the solution.
And the recommendation to bring back corporal punishment for kids Do you actually have any? If you do, poor kids! Do you belt them if they spill their milk? How about beating them unconscious if they wet the bed? Or slapping them when they trip and get their clothes dirty?

[AU Mont]

Originally Posted by GTP owner

I feel for you AU Mont, but I think you are going about things the wrong way, and potentially inflaming the situation.
.............

good post, alot of valid points made there.

just to pick on one part though, the wife went there because that mother has seemingly got away with what she done because the police absolutely dont care, and the principal has accepted a general apology from her and only intends to send her a letter as a formality. After her behaviour at the school and towards my wife, and the fact she denies everything shows that she is not sorry at all.

my aggression will peak very soon if i dont get help from the school or police, it is a by-product of being desparate to hold people accountable for their actions.

Im positive that if it where me who entered the school and screamed someones kids into tears, that i would have a police visit that afternoon, and possibly be banned from entering school grounds in the future. This double standard ticks me off, and i cant turn it on & off like a switch.

Justice system only seems to punish those more who have had a gutful and have reacted to lack of justice, rather than punishing those who have caused the incidences in the first place

[Russ]

Originally Posted by Bucknaked

That mother needs to be taught a lesson. Sounds too me like she is an inbred bogan who is the one who sets an example for her feral kid.

Kick her in the balls as well

Seriously though, I went through similar after leaving school whilst attending TaFE back in the mid 70's, my eldest son had some issues with bullying in the mid 90's in Primary School, for me it was hell, as it was a full time course for 1 year, I spoke with teachers, the head honcho at the TaFE etc.... and all to no avail, I was lucky it never got to violence, more really bad harassment. In the 90's the scenario for my son was worse and there was physical bullying involved, I confronted the teachers and Principal about it and they said they would keep an eye on it, they didn't say it would be a blind eye, because they sat back and did nothing, they said it was just typical of kids playing rough. I told my son that as much as I would love to come to the school with a baseball bat and sort it out for him, that was not an option. I taught all my kids as I was taught myself (by my parents) to try and avoid physical conflict whenever possible but once it gets too much, deal with it !! He was soon confronted yet again by the main perpetrator and fortunately my son was built pretty solid and put the clown on his *** and into a wall. After that no more trouble, ever

I agree that something needs to be done about it ASAP and now that parents are involved to the extent that you are it is most likely going to get worse. I would try to talk to the Principal again and if he / she will not take firm action immediately to rectify the situation, then seek legal advice. There are plenty of options available nowadays, running away to another school is not one of them

This link is for help in NSW but I'm sure other states will have their own, just Google it http://www.police.nsw.gov.au/communi...nd_in_the_home

Hope it all gets sorted soon for you, just don't lose your head as it's not going to help the situation at all

[Smoke Pursuit]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

he starts high school next year, and theres ony one public school here so its all gonna follow him regardless. There is a $2500yr catholic high school, or $10,000 private school but i cant really justify that sort of coin

So you cant justify $2500 a year to try and give your child a better education / life?

Seriously... Put him in a decent school and he will have alot better chance. The public education system is broke, they are more worried about getting pay increases.

Some of the other suggestions here are mindless and stupid. Also make sure you got your facts straight, if your child has been bullying others as well it may make you look a little red in the face.

[GTP owner]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

good post, alot of valid points made there.

just to pick on one part though, the wife went there because that mother has seemingly got away with what she done because the police absolutely dont care, and the principal has accepted a general apology from her and only intends to send her a letter as a formality. After her behaviour at the school and towards my wife, and the fact she denies everything shows that she is not sorry at all.

my aggression will peak very soon if i dont get help from the school or police, it is a by-product of being desparate to hold people accountable for their actions.

Im positive that if it where me who entered the school and screamed someones kids into tears, that i would have a police visit that afternoon, and possibly be banned from entering school grounds in the future. This double standard ticks me off, and i cant turn it on & off like a switch.

Justice system only seems to punish those more who have had a gutful and have reacted to lack of justice, rather than punishing those who have caused the incidences in the first place

The other mother certainly did not do the right thing. It sounds as if you are unlikely to change things from that direction. If you are very concerned about her, there is the possiblility of taking an AVO out against her approaching you child. That would be the ultimate protection, as any breach of that would see her face the possibility of jail time.

You mention holding people to account for their actions - remember that your anger will test your ability to account for your actions. Don't be silly and let it control you. YOU are in control of your emotions, not the situation. Don't become part of the problem. Your asking for help on here, and taking in some of the advice is a good way to rationalise your approach, and work constructively towards a solution. If your child sees you do that, then you have taught them a far more important lesson than any self-defence lesson, or any misguided angry ourburst. Your mature working through this, especially by involving your son, will reap far greater dividends in the long run. Not only will you bond more closely with him, he will trust you more, and feel more empowered and self-assured. This is one of the best defences against bullying in the long term

[mcnews]

Unfortunately the fight back thing will not always work as some kids progress physically much faster than others. The aboriginal kids that use to pick on me were basically fully grown men at 14. The teachers saw it and knew about it but never challenged them on it, they were aboriginal and thus untouchable/unchallengable for fear of being called racist or some other crap. Looking back on it now perhaps that is why instead of going back to school the next year instead I joined the Defence Force during Christmas holidays and went off to recruit school at 16.

I think I would be inclined to try to support the kid and not turn it in to something beyond massive for all concerned so it consumes their every waking moment thus turning what could just end up being a blip during growing up into something that scars longer.

Every situation is different though.

If your young bloke has good friends and is involved in team sport or something there will be more good than bad and he will likely get through it, especially if he feels like you understand and sympathise with him and tell him it will get better etc. Play it down a little rather than up and go out of your way to ensure he has plenty of positive experiences outside of the playground.

If that fails though I would move schools for sure. Even if you have to give up some vice to pay for it. That's not to say it wont happen again though.

[Russ]

Originally Posted by DASH GT

So you cant justify $2500 a year to try and give your child a better education / life?

Seriously... Put him in a decent school and he will have alot better chance. The public education system is broke, they are more worried about getting pay increases.

Unfortunately putting your kids into a Private School is not necessarily going to protect them from bullying and in many cases it could be even worse :(

[TheSneakiness]

People who know me know I can have a very short fuse, and I have let it go in various situations (home, work) however this one day I let fly at a young boy who decided he didn't want to wait for my son to get ready to go on a slide at a Southbank park and said "Let's push him down" (my son is 2).

I put a dent in the playground equipment and yelled at him to cut it out immediately otherwise I will push him down, much to the disgust of the other toffee nosed parents just letting their kids get away with whatever they want, along with making other kids upset because an adult had gotten angry at them. I seriously did not care what others thought as to me it seems there is no discipline at home and this is the first time they had seen it.

I also was questioned by my wife as why I did it and simply told her what happened. She was kind of on my side apart from the temper I showed, we simply left.

On the other hand I do watch my son go up to other kids in the playground and tell them no they can't play, to which I will pull him aside and give him a smack and say they can play too, and to go back to them and say sorry. He does do this as well so I can't be angry at him completely because he sees what I do as well and I have to explain to him why and why not to do these things.

It is seriously effin ridiculous why parents are so scared now to take authority over their kids, no wonder we have so many delinquents and morons in society.

[ch33z1l]

I heard on JJJ that a doco has been produced on bullying. Camera crew travelled on the school bus and spent the day at the school, in the playground, etc. Not once did the bullies turn it down when the cameras were rolling. This doco is now being shown in various schools (sorry I can't remember the name of it) Was on JJJ I think yesterday morning? Perhaps ask the principal if they are serious about bullying, to have this shown at the school?

[Maka]

G'day AU Mont, sorry to hear about the harrassment/ bullying your son is going thru atm, my young bloke & his mates went thru this at school too and what they did is they formed a anti bullying group to all keep an eye on each other and when one of them got bullied they would arrive in numbers while other witness's alerted the teacher.

We spoke to the principle & my son's teacher to raise the issue and once the they were alerted to the problem they quickly moved to stamp out any bullying of any kind and kept known bully's well monitered. Avo for the feral mum- any witness's?

cheers,Maka

[atec77]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

My 12 year old been bullied by certain other kids for a couple years now, and it usually starts from the school bus in the morning to getting off the school bus in the afternoon.

Approached the principle about the bullying which ranges from petty group rejection to death threats (some of these very disturbing). He says its just kids being kids and that my kid has a big mouth and is just as guilty

Wife rings up the mother of the main bully this morning, and from what i heard on this end was a very light converstation of basically "could you please have a talk to your kid about the bullying, yes i know it takes two to tango ive already had a word to mine" blah blah

So this ******* ***** mother of the bully turns up at school today finds my kid in the playground and literally gets in his face and starts yelling at him, wheres he is left in tears and runs straight to the principal not knowing what to do. Principal makes a phonecall informing my wife at work what happened and that he will be sending a letter to each party of what happened.

If it was a bloke i would have 'dealt' with it, but because it was the mother, i let the wife go over their house and ask what the hell was she thinking trying to intimidate a little boy like that. Well the ***** denied even speaking to him, then stormed out the front door trying to hit my wife being held back by the husband which had a look on his face of not knowing of anything that had been going on.

And my 5 year old came home in tears today because they are starting on him too, one of them being a kid from the next door neighbour with his precious lawn as per my other whinge thread.

The wife then goes to the police and mentions the trespassing ***** mother abusing my kid at school, and he said none of it is his problem, whilst also mentioning how he received a phonecall from her that my wife turned up at their house trying to hit her.......... all lies bullshtt, but no-one is listening

Now i get to the point where im under alot of stress & just feel like killing someone, and im afraid of approaching unapproachable people because i cant tolerate any nonsense like this.

So how does everyone else deal with their kids getting bullied !!??

What I can see and appreciate is the degree of frustration , children and some parents have dreadful behavior patterns and lack a common decency , experience tells me smashing them doesn't work , however going to the Headmaster and making a formal complaint the first time may , if that fails escalate complaints directly to the Education Dept in your state in the strongest possible terms , be prepared to move your child on the assumption they are inoccent but thats a last resort . My grandchild was being bullied and on making conversation with the parent of the bully and then having my solicitor write to the principle it stopped the physical side although of course some jeering occoured for a short while , I seriously contemplated taking matter into my own hands but the solicitors letter of demand to the school worked and cooled things

Good luck with it and remember try to remain calm for now.

[BPXR6T]

My father always told me the best way to take care of bullies was to drop the biggest one and the rest go weak at the knees. He would always tell me bullies were nothing but cowards, that's why they bully in packs. I thought it was all talk until I was about 13 and saw him take on six guys with beer muscles at the local park who decided they were tough in a pack. Just like he told me, without saying a word he dropped the biggest mouth. The rest backed down. Still impressed with that all these years on. Moving around a lot as a kid I had to deal with my fair share of bullies. They all shared the same traits, p!ss weak and always on the lookout for a soft target. I guess my father taught me not to be a soft target.

[HLC]

Tell Tracey Grimshaw.

[poppa smurf]

get him out of there and into a private school.......this is the youngsters future we are talking about

violence to the mother, even in a retaliative form will only beget violence

rise above and look after your kids and teach them a better way

[Dusty1]

$2500 a year may not be too much to ensure that he is ok.

I know schools don't operate 52 weeks a year, but it works out about $48 a week.

My nephew was at public school in Townsville, got horribly bullied. Moved to local Catholic high school, no dramas again and he is studying to go to uni next year. Doubtful he would have got where he is if he didn't change schools.

[Professor Farnsworth]

If you can't afford a Catholic school there's not much chance you can afford a private one. As i said i've found public institutions far better than the Catholic high school i went to anyway. The people were better in every way. Do not think that just because it's a Catholic school it's automatically great, far from the truth and the message being conveyed here.

This thread is nearing its end so everyone just keep on track.

[Ben73]

When confronting the other parents, you should consider recording it.

Every time I think there is a chance of confrontation, I will whip out my phone and hit record on the camera, then casually hold my phone. At least that way if the other parents attempt to physically attack you or threaten you, you will have proof.

[Wise]

It doesn't matter whether its a private school or a public school. Kids will get bullied, its human nature to pick on one anothers weaknesses. Some kids identify what they see as a weakness in another and exploit that to make themselves feel better about something in their own lives. Thats how humans have developed.

To put it at a more basic level, its why puppies fight and wrestle in the litter with each other. Yes its playing, but they're trying to also show who's the dominant puppy.

The school systems can only do what is within their power to stop it and some individual schools are a lot better at it then others. That doesn't mean that it won't happen anywhere else.

I think the best thing you can do is to teach your boy self confidence. Until he learns that, the sooner he can either stand up to them or see them for what they really are - just scared little kids trying to prove they're the dominant one of the group. The sooner he learns this the better off he will be - not just now, but for the rest of his life.

From the sound of the parents I don't think they will have instilled moral value into their child, much less a sense of wrong and right. I think working with them on the problem is a lost cause, but you still can't take matters in to your own hands or you're showing everyone you're no better then them.

Self confidence is the key. It will make him a stronger person and give him inner strength that a lot of other kids his age can't have. Whether he gets this from sport, martial arts, baking...it doesn't matter. Just get him doing something to build it and he will grow from there.

[Wise]

Originally Posted by Dusty1

$2500 a year may not be too much to ensure that he is ok.

I know schools don't operate 52 weeks a year, but it works out about $48 a week.

My nephew was at public school in Townsville, got horribly bullied. Moved to local Catholic high school, no dramas again and he is studying to go to uni next year. Doubtful he would have got where he is if he didn't change schools.

With the proper budgeting anything is possible, but I don't think its fair to comment about the cost of a school VS how much better off your child is when we don't know what the financial situation is.

I do think you're right about changing schools though, its a new start and new atmosphere. But there is bullying at every school, whether its physical, social or verbal. Theres always some form of it going on, its the way kids are