Dad-ism's...We all have one!

[Geez Louise]

Hi Peoples!

Over the past couple of days I have had a few conversations with people about "Dad-ism's" You know....the things that only dad's can say and get away with. As there is a lot of Dad's on here, I want you all to fess up and confess your sins..

For example, your at a restaurant and you know everyone is going to order steak. On the menu they state they can cook your steak "to perfection" so when the waitress walks over and asks everyone how they want their steak's cooked (as in, Rare, Medium, Well Done), your Dad says "To Perfection"

I think this is where all Dad jokes start from. Daggy Dad's saying daggy things. So fess up, what's your dad-ism.

Cheers
Col

[11ford11]

Rather partial to never ASSUME because it can make an "*** of U and ME" - and my kids love it...........................then again maybe not !

[Sam_Boss260]

"Pull my finger...." Never gets old !!

[Vincenzo]

Why do mermaids wear sea shells?

Cause "B" shells are too small and "D" shells are too big!


Cheers Vincenzo

[superyob]

Answering the phone in an almost perfect Indian accent usually makes my daughters roll their eyes...

[staity]

Son: Dad I'm Hungry.
Me: Hi Hungry, I'm Dad.

An oldie but a goodie.

[Revolver]

When Im hungry: "I'm Starvin' Marvin"

"Alridy Heidi"

Other stuff that Rhymes with everyday things. Do it all the time.

And Answering the phone to a Private Number with a Gruff, aggressive, low tone voice: "Speak!"

[prydey]

Originally Posted by staity

Son: Dad I'm Hungry.
Me: Hi Hungry, I'm Dad.

An oldie but a goodie.

i do that all the time

really annoys my kids, which makes me do it even more!

[superyob]

Still on the phone antics: When my daughters would receive calls from boys, sometimes they would put the phone down to do something related to whatever the subject of conversation was and I would silently glide over to the phone and make soft chicken bucking noises into the handpiece...

[buggerlugs]

Dad missing a 2 foot put, "You don't have to be stiff to be dead"...............

[TheSneakiness]

My response to my son after he asks why.

It's the letter after X.

And when he doesn't hear me probably and says hey.

That is what horses eat.

[Vincenzo]

But why Dad?

Cause Y is a crooked letter and you can't straighten it, that's why!


Cheers Vincenzo

[Burnout]

Sympathy; may be found half way between S*** & Syphilis in a Dictionary.

[FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0]

My old man always used to say, just after he burped, "Better out than a fart". If he farted "Better out than a tooth".

Never found out what he'd say if he had a tooth taken out....

The other one he often used to say, whilst sitting down at the dinner table, about to hoe into the meal was "Rally, rally round the table. Fill your belly while you're able".

Of course, they're all sayings that I use now.

Not ashamed to say I miss him heaps

Craig H

[JC]

If a question they ask results in answer that happen to be the words of a song - I sing the answer....

So if they say "What do you want, dad", I might answer "You got nothin' I want" as sung by Cold Chisel....I do it a lot.

But also the finger thing, the "I'm hungry" thing, and loads of others that they would be able to identify as a dad thing better then me....

Sometimes, they even use "dad things" on me!

[PG2]

My Dad says when something is broken, "It's had the Richard."

According to my three teenage children everything I say and do is a "Dad-ism".

[5LXHR8]

'Yum yum pigs bum I like gugglebum'

'Pass the dead horse'

'I had one just like that but the wheel fell off it'




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[5LXHR8]

Haha nan just gave a new. Pointing to specific parts of the body 'milk milk lemonade round the corner chocolates made'


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[prydey]

Originally Posted by 5LXHR8

Haha nan just gave a new. Pointing to specific parts of the body 'milk milk lemonade round the corner chocolates made'


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no offense, but the fact that you mentioned 'nan', that just puts a horrible picture in my head

[Uncle_Ken]

positive comment.."Good work, have yesterday off."
Having older children know, after any complaint..."tell someone who cares, tell you Mum"
On returning the car yet again without putting in petrol..."did you put any electricity into the hybrid?"
UK

[JAJH]

From my Dad (now in his 80's) in the days when you would give people 2 fingers instead of the bird, he would then give the 2 fingers sideways and say, "I don't like your dog either!"

[revcore]

When my ex girlfriends dad farted he'd say "Speaks well for no teeth doesn't he".

[tut0r]

Not a Dad-ism as such but I have this bad habit of when ever I order something online now, in the comment section I always ask for a Dad joke...So far my favourite is "What happend when the boy was hit by a soda can.....He was lucky it was a soft drink".....ahahaha I'm only 27, I will make an amazing father one day I already tell jokes.....

I still like what do you call a deer with no eyes.

[Binny]

When I was young and did something dumb my old man used to say "Use your Richard Cranium!"
Didn't realise back then that he was calling me a dick head hahaha.

A lot of my fun childhood memories are of the musical farts my old man used to trumpet out all the time to my mums disgust.

Now my young boys and I have a lot of laughs with all my fart jokes and dad jokes. To my wife's disgust haha.

[maat1985]

what do you call man with a shovel in his head??? Doug.....
what do you call a man with a rabbit in his bum??? Warren....
what do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pool????? Bob.....

when i buy a pack of lollies that is a "share pack" i eat all the lollies and gove someone else the pack.....

[JAJH]

Originally Posted by tut0r

Not a Dad-ism as such but I have this bad habit of when ever I order something online now, in the comment section I always ask for a Dad joke...So far my favourite is "What happend when the boy was hit by a soda can.....He was lucky it was a soft drink".....ahahaha I'm only 27, I will make an amazing father one day I already tell jokes.....

I still like what do you call a deer with no eyes.

At least YOU can laugh at your own jokes, because I can assure you, your kids won't laugh at them!

[tut0r]

Originally Posted by JAJH

At least YOU can laugh at your own jokes, because I can assure you, your kids won't laugh at them!

Isn't the whole point of dad jokes to embarrass your kids, though?

[JAJH]

Originally Posted by tut0r

Isn't the whole point of dad jokes to embarrass your kids, though?

Absolutely, it's just they won't see the funny side of it!

[burnz]

you know the rules sweetie..
if grandma said no,, ask grandad..

how could I say no to someone so gorgeous..

[PG2]

Originally Posted by tut0r

Isn't the whole point of dad jokes to embarrass your kids, though?

I embarrass my teenage daughter by singing red light karaoke - when we pull up at a set of lights I wind down all of the windows and sing loudly to a 70's or 80's song on the radio and dance in my driver's seat.

I point to all the people in other cars staring at us and tell her that that's how people would stare at me when she was in her terrible twos and she would chuck a tantrum, scream and drop to the ground in the middle of the shopping centre.

Pay backs are a *****.