Feel like doing damage

[MWTB]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

me and the wife the wife have had a small talk this arve about starting our 6yr old in a different school next year as this school seems to have a habit of not doing anything about ferals.

i think this is the best way, hopefully he is not outkast too much being the "new kid" next year

At the risk of speaking out of line and telling you how to raise your kids (which I'm not trying to do), that may just make things worse later in life for him. Running away from problems and all that.

If, as suggested a post or two earlier, you have the education department involved and educate your son(s) on WHY you are speaking to the education department, it will show them that there is always a way to fix a problem. If the education department don't do anything, legal aid will. But I can almost guarantee that with the rate of teen suicides at the moment the education department will detonate a nuclear bomb in the principal's office if it means that she gets off her *** and does something.

Schools by law owe a duty of care to their students and by doing nothing, they are breaching their duty of care and breaking the law.

[Kesh]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

gezza, thats horrible, really bad stuff to be dealing with.

marquis, talk to the karate instructor noted

raykay, good to see your dealing with the rubbish, but hanging around the bad kids is what im trying to keep my kids from doing, not befriending them. My 6yr is on the verge of being a ratbag himself because most his little group of friends are and he just wants to be accepted

neptune blue, nice work.

The teacher of my 6yr who was punched had a word to my eldest son and basically said my little boy is just being a drama queen and he will "get over it"

Well, ive written a note in my son's school diary to the teacher, and its enough to get me into trouble, however everyone else gets away with rot, why cant i?.........

Sorry mate, I'm not sure if I didn't type clear enough. Maybe he's too young for now but what I meant was that in high school, getting decked and punched in the face is not what you'd consider minor but no where near the extent that some people will go to.

There are people around my school who do drugs, alcohol, gang fights and so on. There's always a risk of them and their friends ganging up on me, there's nothing stopping them, I'm not built like a tank or anything.

I've had people approach me, then back off as soon as these other guys who know me told them 'its cool'.

I can understand 100%, why you wouldn't do this though, there are things that can go wrong I know.

Best I can do is offer a perspective from current position.

I didn't mean hang out with them, more so just get them to develop a safe relationship with these people.

This is getting off topic I'm sorry, it doesn't really apply to your child at this age.

[Dusty1]

Its been stated before that a Catholic school or a private one might not be better for the Ops child.

However, it does appear that he has limited choice where to send the child and the above are the two choices, or the public school where the bully may end up.

So, the op has to make a choice about what to do now to have the issue stopped, and there are a lot of comments on that, some I agree with, some I don't. The second choice is where to send his child. The op stated it was about $2500 for the Cathoic school, which might be as bad, better than or worse than where his son is now. To me, that is a small price to get my child away from a bully, especially of the bully won't be going to that school.

I went to a prestigious private boys school in Melbourne, and was teased and bullied because i was a big tubbier than them and had the bonus of a funny surname. I got bigger and started to counter the bullies with humour. Only lashed out once, out of school grounds, and don't think it was appropriate then, but those guys I'll talk to at reunions but I won't go out of my way to see them outside of that.

The sun still came up for me, and I saw them for what they were, pathetic little people who have to pick on others to make themselves feel big and special.

[Fled74]

Sorry to hear about your kid.

As a victim of bullying myself, many years ago, this kind of thing makes me worry about my own children (a 6-year-old and a 2-year-old with Down Syndrome).

My older daughter seems pretty well-liked at school, but there's no shortage of bogan parents there. Most are pretty good, but there's one mum who's known to yell out of her car window at people who she feels are blocking her way.

My wife (who is Asian and petite) copped abuse from this woman a few weeks ago for walking her pushbike across the street. The slag obviously knows she went too far, because she avoids us now (but that may be due to my shaved head, tattoos, and bikie goatee).

Still, it saddens me to think of the example these parents are setting for their own kids.

[zilo]

You get what you pay for with schools....just like cars.

At a private school you are a paying customer.

Of course there are always exceptions, but on average your kid will do better at a private school, because you get away from bogan parents...usually

[tyler06]

One thing i havent seen mentioned is an all out strike!! I was bullied in my younger years and my parents tried and tried with the school and the education department but to no avail. I was then taken out of school and my mother informed the education department of the reason and she would be taking it further and hung up. She got a phone call the next day and when i went back to school no more hassles. But when i got to high school i was again bullied until i stepped up. When i was 16 my 12yr old brother was cornered by a group of kids around 15/16 and he and his mate were whipped with sticks and spat on.
My step dad and i went to the ring leaders house that night where i informed his dad that i would be gunning for him and if anything else happened i would bet him within an inch of his life.
It happened again and i lost it, had the day of work and got my mate to drive me to my old school. When i got there i told my mate to find this guy and get him out there. Needless to say a group formed including teachers and they tried to escort me off the school grounds. I dropped the teacher and went straight for him but was put on my *** by my mate and we left. That was the end of my brothers and sisters probs all four of them. Im not saying what i did was right but when his dad had a go at me about what i did, i reminded him of our previous visit.
2 yrs later there was a knock at my door and it was him. Boy did he jump back when i answered the door. He was and still is a mate of my missus but she knows that i only tolerate the friendship because of both their families history. He is still NOT welcome at my house.
Bullies are cowards and my kids have been taught to drop them. Not right you say? Well my son is happy at school and not bullied and when his little brother gets there next year i dare say he will be safe too. My kids also know that their are major consequences for bullying any other kids.
I hope it works out for you mate but in my honest opinion i dont think switching schools is the answer.

[bingoTE50]

Kids are heartless to say the least. I went to four primary schools and two high schools. Lets just say lucky I was a Balmain boy and learnt to fight at a young age . Nearly 50 now !! The reasoning for getting hassled , well I supposed a new face on the scene . , I had long hair when others didn't , wore jeans and they didn't etc ... The point I am making, is at times I probably looked like a square peg in a round hole . Was it right that I got hassled ,no not at all , but in school world ,what seems petty and outrageous to adults , is fair game to kids.
Why do you think your kids are getting hassled? or are there other kids getting bullied by the same group ? Is it racial ? Physical? Intellectual ? Lifestyle ? Religion ?
You have to get to the root of the issue to help the situation . Don't get me wrong , I am not justifying in anyway the bullying , it is terrible that it happens.

[AU Mont]

well my kid started highschool, and only 2 days in, the bullying has started again, one of the bullies has got their grade 10 cousin to intmidate my kid. Had to find out from another parent who's kid witnessed it, as my kid wouldnt tell me thinking the bullying will go away by itself.

seriously just dont have words for these lowlife scum kids, trying to ****up my kids future. Left a message at principals office, to try set up an interview with him. Gonna grab this situation by the balls before it even gets a chance to take off.

[Yellow_Festiva]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

well my kid started highschool, and only 2 days in, the bullying has started again, one of the bullies has got their grade 10 cousin to intmidate my kid. Had to find out from another parent who's kid witnessed it, as my kid wouldnt tell me thinking the bullying will go away by itself.

seriously just dont have words for these lowlife scum kids, trying to ****up my kids future. Left a message at principals office, to try set up an interview with him. Gonna grab this situation by the balls before it even gets a chance to take off.

See if the school has any sort of policy or procedure in place on how to deal with bullying, If they say yes, then ask for a copy of it.

Go home, review what it says and talk to your son about the procedures the teacher must follow when they know about incidents of bullying.

If he hasn't mentioned it to a teacher as yet, tomorrow is the day to start.

Be on top of it, arrange meetings, make phone calls, leave messages that you would like to be called back if whoever you want isn't available.

Record all people you talk to, keep a diary of all events, interactions and conversations.

If the situation doesn't improve, take things further. The reason why I suggest you keep a diary is the first thing they will ask is what has happened in the past to warrant going over the school. They will want detailed information. It will also prove that you are dead serious about the problem.

Good luck.

[Dusty1]

Keeping a diary of conversations is always a good idea. Even better in this kind of instance.

[TheSneakiness]

I'm dreading when my son starts school cause I'm the type of parent to react first and think later.

Mate, get hold of the flippin principal and tell him whats going on (make sure your child is in the meeting too cause he needs to say its happening otherwise not much will get done) and get a copy of any anti bullying policy in place.

Always go up if the result is not to your satisfaction.

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

well my kid started highschool, and only 2 days in, the bullying has started again, one of the bullies has got their grade 10 cousin to intmidate my kid. Had to find out from another parent who's kid witnessed it, as my kid wouldnt tell me thinking the bullying will go away by itself.

seriously just dont have words for these lowlife scum kids, trying to ****up my kids future. Left a message at principals office, to try set up an interview with him. Gonna grab this situation by the balls before it even gets a chance to take off.

Why won't your kid talk to you about the problem? I'm not insinuating you're a bad parent or anything nasty, so please don't be offended...Just curious, as most kids talk to a parent about these sorts of issues....

As suggested, a meeting with the principal with your kid present would go along way to helping your kid open up to you, with any problem, as they would see you're proactive in helping them.

If you get no satisfaction from the principal, education department is the next port of call....Stuff the principal...

Good luck and hpe the problem gets resolved, especially for your kids benefit.

[XBROO]

Sorry this is not constructive, but me myself. I wouldn't do or say anything to anybody, and find out where they live. Then organise a third party to go for a nice visit, make sure they have no real connection to you. Sorry I'm I bad?

[AU Mont]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

I'm dreading when my son starts school cause I'm the type of parent to react first and think later

having kids is like having an operation by relocating & having your heart sewn onto your sleeve. It really hurts sometimes.

comments noted members, thanks. I give a short lecture every week....., keep your head down, do your school work, dont gossip about others, and if someone still gives you a hard time then break their nose.

[wrongwaynorris]

Originally Posted by XBROO

Sorry this is not constructive, but me myself. I wouldn't do or say anything to anybody, and find out where they live. Then organise a third party to go for a nice visit, make sure they have no real connection to you. Sorry I'm I bad?

No your'e not as this probably the only thing their sort will understand .

[graham_h]

I changed our boys school.
They're both in a private school and love it.
No bullying there at all.
That's the only sure fire way to solve the problem.

[MercurySilver]

so putting him in a private school will stop the problem???

LOL
do me a fav
some private schools are WORSE

i would record everything
what the kid is going thru (tell him to record it on a phone) video the mother the father the principal everything and do it covertly
then go to the tv
after that go around and beat the living snot out the father for not controlling his family

**** them
tough love

who in their right mind gives death threats and that ***** at that age
and you know what it stems from>
that kids upbringing
100%

i would name and shame the parents and the school
i would threaten that i have it all secretly recorded on camera and im going to bow the whistle
**** em
u want to play tough?
i'll play twice as tuff

i HATE bullies and their parents
i had it at primary school in the UK and got it all during year 8 at high school over here
i kicked the crap out a year ten in HS over here as i lost my ***** after getting bullied by him and had to be dragged off him by a teacher, literally
i complained to the student council numerous times and was told to toughen up
so i did, i learned how to punch and kick that ****** ***

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

having kids is like having an operation by relocating & having your heart sewn onto your sleeve. It really hurts sometimes.

Could not agree more.

[poppa smurf]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

Could not agree more.

wait till you have grandkids as well as kids.......doesn't matter how old they are they are still your kids

to the OP.....my heart goes out to the young feller, if it was me I'd be standing at the school fence

but in reality I would be on the principles **** day in and day out,

who was on yard duty, what did they see or hear, what did they do about it, why didn't they do anything

let the principle know, in writing that you will be seeking legal advice (even if you don't, this will instil some movement)

write to the minister for education, see your local member.......action is what is needed

be a right royal pain in the backside until it is stamped out......don't stand idly by

most of all keep talking to your young bloke and keep a close eye on his Facebook page or where ever he goes online.....see what he is thinking

dont approach the perpetrator or you may end up in gaol that will do no good to anyone

[K93George]

I remember being in primary school and some kids in grade 6 had for no apparent reason cornered me when I was in preps and tried the entire macho thing on. Pushing me about, threw me to the ground etc. I was incredibly close to my grandfather (still am) and told him what happened. He got up and demonstrated to me how to kick them where it hurts. So, the next day I pulled my leg right back, and BANG, right in-between the legs. Had one of them in tears then ran from the rest, hid in a bush, picked up a stick and smashed it across the face of the other XD We had other encounters but not for long as they graduated to high school.

I had a few instances of other petty stuff, kids taking my food away or saying some at the time hurtful stuff.

Life is unfortunately unfair and the more savage the environment the more likely "survival of the fittest" comes into play. It shouldn't! But it does... I am not a parent and don't truly understand what it involves and means but if I was in this situation and having done all you have I would, assuming the bullying isn't "someone is going to die" type of bullying, like mass fights with knifes (did happen at my school! Someone got stabbed, another story though.) and more like the example I provided above I would teach him to both have a reactive and proactive approach to this. Obviously avoiding encounters all together is a good idea, but if he is confronted and verbal abuse pursues he can of course talk back/ ignore/ humiliate them but more importantly if he is attacked to fight back! I don't see the issue with fighting dirty, they are the ones in a group! A fist to the face, a kick to the .... Should have them in tears.

If he continues to be bullied and doesn't let out the pent up rage/ emotions it will either become self inflicting or he will start hurting others. I tried to ignore some bullies and it ended up with a chair to his face. It sounds crazy but you just reach a point of blind rage, I reached it and wanted to literally kill this person. I adapted this crazy mentality of "i'd rather feel guilty then angry" So I made sure I was the one doing the apologises after going "too far" with the onslaught, potential bullies catch on fast and back off.

[Dash_XR]

As bad as it sounds violence always speaks louder then words.

I'd hate to be a school at these days, I had four little punks try and wind me up the other day at work. All probably between 12-15 tagging walls in the city, all fearless as obviously no one has ever stood up to them. Screaming racial abuse at tourists and vandalizing as much stuff as they could.

Obviously they can't do anything to me and I can't do anything to them but I can only imagine what they do to kids there own age. When there is absolutely no repercussions for their actions why would they stop?

[K93George]

Originally Posted by Dash_XR

All probably between 12-15 tagging walls in the city, all fearless as obviously no one has ever stood up to them. Screaming racial abuse at tourists and vandalizing as much stuff as they could.

Obviously they can't do anything to me and I can't do anything to them but I can only imagine what they do to kids there own age. When there is absolutely no repercussions for their actions why would they stop?

Yep, know exactly what you mean. Have a group like that in my otherwise wonderful neighbourhood, shouted some crap at my brother who is 16 himself. He said "What, got a problem son? How about I come over there and you can tell me" It heated up and my brother went over there, they ran inside? Didn't escalate how I expected it to. Same group that was running in front of cars for the LULZ. Egged my neighbours car who did threaten to give them the beating their dad never did. List goes on... Sad thing is, these welfare scum reproduce at an alarming rate, sleep with all the scum of society without contraception and repopulate society with their crappy gene pool. While the wealthier more behaved don't have time for even a few children let alone the 5-10+ these scumbags have. Sometimes I think eugenics is the way to go. A good read up/ watch is the "Silver fox experiment".

[grandpa_spec_F6]

My grandfather gave me some good advice, "ask nicely they stop, if they dont kick them in the shin, failing that, drop them"

The martial arts I know and practice now would have been a godsend back in the day, and my kids will be learning it when they are old enough, as well as the consequences of abusing it.

I really do feel for you AU Mont, been there myself, changing schools was the best decision of my life.

[svo supporter]

Drama these days using violence is, you're the bastard that ends up digging into your pocket defending yourself.

To show I'm not some doo gooder, about 5 years or so ago, I had a couple ****ed 20 odd year olds threatening to burn my house down, flog the crap out of me hurt my family...etc etc....My response was a metal pole across the biggest ones face.

End result....Him knocked out, 3 teeth gone and a nice scar to remind him...me charged with assault causing bodily harm and use offensive weapon....$900 later, found not guilty by reason of self-defense....

So yes, people might say violence is the answer, but when you start paying to defend yourself in court, you look for other options.

BTW, I'm not big noting myself, or trying to say I'm a hero.....if anything, I still hate myself for having to resort to that method to solve the problem.

So worth thinking about

[XBROO]

Originally Posted by svo supporter

Drama these days using violence is, you're the bastard that ends up digging into your pocket defending yourself.

To show I'm not some doo gooder, about 5 years or so ago, I had a couple ****ed 20 odd year olds threatening to burn my house down, flog the crap out of me hurt my family...etc etc....My response was a metal pole across the biggest ones face.

End result....Him knocked out, 3 teeth gone and a nice scar to remind him...me charged with assault causing bodily harm and use offensive weapon....$900 later, found not guilty by reason of self-defense....

So yes, people might say violence is the answer, but when you start paying to defend yourself in court, you look for other options.

BTW, I'm not big noting myself, or trying to say I'm a hero.....if anything, I still hate myself for having to resort to that method to solve the problem.

So worth thinking about

Mate I wouldn't be hating myself for that, you we protecting youself and your family. What would of happened if you didn't do anything? $900 bucks is a joke, when you were fending for you life.

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by XBROO

Mate I wouldn't be hating myself for that, you we protecting youself and your family. What would of happened if you didn't do anything? $900 bucks is a joke, when you were fending for you life.

The $900 was the lawyers fee for my defense....(probably cost more these days).....Yes a **** off proving my innocience, however I'm putting it out there for the people who are advising to belt these little turds, the cost of proving your innocience......So worth thinking twice.

As for my situation....The coppers were already on route, when I hit the bloke......But I still try and figure out what I could have done different to prevent such drastic action...no luck yet...

[K93George]

Originally Posted by svo supporter

however I'm putting it out there for the people who are advising to belt these little turds, the cost of proving your innocience......So worth thinking twice.

I agree that attacking the children/ parents is a bad idea, I definitely wouldn't do it just out of the blue for revenge but when you are this young boy getting teamed on and attacked do you just sit there like a boxing bag and get punched, kicked? You either flee or fight, both work. You run to the teachers/ parents and continue to avoid these abusive people. Or you can fight back, whether that means picking up the chair you're sitting on or using your hands and feet. Either way, what is the child going to do at the time he is being attacked?

If they are just using words, that is not as bad. Kids get embarrassed over little things, if the victim said something back to the bully/s like "whatever lobster face" that would come across as seriously offensive.

[AU Mont]

Originally Posted by poppa smurf

dont approach the perpetrator or you may end up in gaol that will do no good to anyone

the bullie's mother actually went to the primary school last year and abused my kid screaming in his face at the playground and all she got was a ****weak letter sent home from the school. My wife went to her place after work to ask what was she thinking and she came out swinging at my wife, her husband had to pull her inside.

Had a look at the mother's facebook, and she says "only 4 days in high school and <insert name> and the arch enemy are at it again. She wont refer to her kid as a bully, but rather my kid as an "arch enemy"

i had a word to the principal and was told to get my son to speak to the relevant teacher that handles these things and just let them be informed the history of it, and how there will be more to deal with over the coming years.

i rang the father up couple days ago, and he said it was frustrating, but through the occasional smart comment in there, i let it slide and said have a word to your kid, and i will mine, and we'll call it a day..............now ive made contact and made myself known, i guess its there wont be any molotov cocktail party

i probably shouldnt have dug up this thread, i guess it was a place to rant, and these threads dont really last very long without being locked, well done peoples lol !!

[poppa smurf]

as far as I'm concerned mate you've done the right thing by raising this problem in here......everyone knows my views on kids and how they should be treated

first up....... for what it's worth I'm proud of you for being the bigger man and ignoring the ignoramus and his small minded jibes and not being tempted to take a poke....dont know if I could have been that strong myself.....well done you.......it takes a bigger man to evade a fight and to talk... rather than hit out

now that you have made contact I really hope for you and your sons sake the father of the other kid will have a think

possibly a bit more communication between you and him may see this idiotic behaviour stop....try to ignore the wife, sounds like she is part of the trouble

I would still see the principle and see what the school is doing about it

take a bit of advice from an old feller dont take that poke or you will be the one in gaol, keep us informed and remember to keep up the talking, don't bottle it up!

lot of folks are in you and your sons corner on this one

[chevypower]

Probably the best advice on here is approach the media regarding the specific situation, possibly, perhaps talk to a lawyer (these two things should get the school to take it more seriously), I think martial arts training is a good thing, but I think the biggest thing would be to have the kids learn about assertiveness in communication (these two things promote self-confidence and effective communication to de-escalate the situation).