Feel like doing damage

[PepeLePew]

State schools are a mixed bag, so are private schools. It can be a tough gig finding the right school to guide your children through their youth.

[xisled]

Originally Posted by b0son

I think the only long term solutions are (a) put the child in a private school where there is some evidence of discipline, or (b) teach the child to stand up for themselves.

The reality is, in spite of all the policies and guidelines on bullying, its more about being seen to be doing something as opposed to be actually doing something.

I would do some sort of martial art that involves some degree of contact. Its the pain that kids are afraid of, ultimately. If they learn that a kick/punch from another kid isnt that bad, they wont be nearly so afraid of standing firm when the situation requires it. (IMO)

I do not agree with putting a kid in private school, and think it will make the behavior better.

The reason why I do not agree with this is that Private schools keep it in house and try to cover it up. I know because I went to private school and it was probably just as bad as public schools.

My brother was one of the worst kids in school. The private school put up with it for 3 years, covering it up. The public school put up with it for a month.

[svo supporter]

I have a pair of feral private school kids living next door to me (one is 16 the other 12)...They jump over the fence into my backyard to get their ball, without asking....They are constantly trying to pick a fight with my 14 year old boy....They swear and curse their mother....they are constantly stirring up their mongrel mutt dogs, so they are constantly barking (from 6 am through to 9 P.M, depending on the day of the week, and whether they are at school) ....the 16 year old just got suspended for looking at porn during school hours.....No big deal some say, but being a catholic private school...well...

So it doesn't really matter what sort of school they go to...it boils down to how good the parenting has been with the kids...

[MWTB]

I'm 21, so I'm not long out of high school. I finished year 12 and spent my whole life in public education. I think I turned out pretty well. I don't go round causing trouble and I'm pretty well educated. With that said, however, I have no hesitation in kicking the **** out of someone if they try to cause problems with myself or my friends.

I suffered at the hands of bullies when I was in primary school for having a stupid last name. My family is Ukrainian and although I am 3rd generation Australian and have no real Ukranian features about me, I still have the surname. Kids used to pick on me relentlessly for it. It also didn't help that I was bigger (a bit overweight, and physically just larger) than them and a big softy.

It began in prep (first year of primary school for those who aren't sure). I remember sneaking into a classroom during lunch time crying and trying to work the phone to call my mum to come and pick me up, but due to the dial out system I couldn't.

It continued into grade 6 where I had toughened up a bit and ended up decking the kid who had picked on me for the whole time I was at school. After that, I carried much more confidence. From the time I was 14 years old I was 6 feet tall and still growing and had the confidence to tell people to **** off or belt them across the face if they gave me a hard time.

It's a sad fact, but the whole 'use your words' thing that you are fed from a young age is absolute crap. 9.9 times out of 10, it won't work and it will only get you picked on more. A good **** kicking is what bullies need, and I handed out a few myself and since then, I have not fell victim to any discrimination.

I wish my parents had put me in to boxing, Karate or muay Thai as a young child so I could have defended myself better when I was younger, but now as a 21 year old at 6'3 and 120kg, there aren't many people that intimidate me enough to get the upper hand and I'm glad my youth went the way it did because its made me a stronger person.

I hope your son deals with things the way I did. It'll suck to watch him go through it, but if he stays strong and finds his feet through it all, he'll be better for it as an adult.

Maybe I'm showing my young age by suggesting this, but I think you should enroll your son in muay thai or MMA classes, even if he doesn't want to do it. He'll learn very quickly how to make the bullies stop.

[Cheese3]

Defense classes are good for discipline education, i took up BJJ at 20 just for fitness, havent been for a year now, don't get me wrong it would be handy in a situation. I just saw ACA just now about kids fighting in gangs getting stab ect ect late at night, if the kid is roaming the streets at 10pm the root of the problem starts at home and discipline.

I know exactly what you mean with a odd last name, both my parents are born overseas Dads Austrian and my last name is similar to Arnold schwarzenegger and my mum is Ukrainian, i did Sunday school..... Yes kids can be cruel with picking on names. i finished in 2005 and you finished in 2009? in those 4 years school and lack of discipline has changed hugely and respect for others, kids are exposed to so much more. When i was 12 my weekend wasn't me running around trying to stab other kids, my mind was focus on what cool machine i can make out of lego or what tree to climb. i did grow up in a town outside of geelong with like 2000ppl now it would have 15000+ its not the same place anymore either...

[Cheese3]

The best thing i found if someone did try and pick on me i would just embrace it, when you show that words are getting to you they are going to pick on you more. IMO i view myself mentally very strong, each year i wear my lederhosen for oktoberfest in melbourne CBD and you should see the **** other guys try and give me for looking different, but guess what chicks love it and ill always find a bed to stay in melbourne.. I know i cant react physically since im 5'10" and 78kg dripping wet. If you react bullies will keep going...

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by MWTB

I'm 21, so I'm not long out of high school. I finished year 12 and spent my whole life in public education. I think I turned out pretty well. I don't go round causing trouble and I'm pretty well educated. With that said, however, I have no hesitation in kicking the **** out of someone if they try to cause problems with myself or my friends.

I suffered at the hands of bullies when I was in primary school for having a stupid last name. My family is Ukrainian and although I am 3rd generation Australian and have no real Ukranian features about me, I still have the surname. Kids used to pick on me relentlessly for it. It also didn't help that I was bigger (a bit overweight, and physically just larger) than them and a big softy.

It began in prep (first year of primary school for those who aren't sure). I remember sneaking into a classroom during lunch time crying and trying to work the phone to call my mum to come and pick me up, but due to the dial out system I couldn't.

It continued into grade 6 where I had toughened up a bit and ended up decking the kid who had picked on me for the whole time I was at school. After that, I carried much more confidence. From the time I was 14 years old I was 6 feet tall and still growing and had the confidence to tell people to **** off or belt them across the face if they gave me a hard time.

It's a sad fact, but the whole 'use your words' thing that you are fed from a young age is absolute crap. 9.9 times out of 10, it won't work and it will only get you picked on more. A good **** kicking is what bullies need, and I handed out a few myself and since then, I have not fell victim to any discrimination.

I wish my parents had put me in to boxing, Karate or muay Thai as a young child so I could have defended myself better when I was younger, but now as a 21 year old at 6'3 and 120kg, there aren't many people that intimidate me enough to get the upper hand and I'm glad my youth went the way it did because its made me a stronger person.

I hope your son deals with things the way I did. It'll suck to watch him go through it, but if he stays strong and finds his feet through it all, he'll be better for it as an adult.

Maybe I'm showing my young age by suggesting this, but I think you should enroll your son in muay thai or MMA classes, even if he doesn't want to do it. He'll learn very quickly how to make the bullies stop.

Good to hear your experiences, but belt a kid in school and guess who cops the suspension????

Belt a kid out of school, or even belt someone when your older because they've called you names and guess who cops the "punishment".

Sad fact...No longer can you belt a kid or person in or out of school and get away with it easily....One statement to the right people and the person throwing the punch is the one wearing the long term grief. That includes saying to their face, "I'm going to belt you", without carrying through with the threat/promise..

[MWTB]

Originally Posted by svo supporter

Good to hear your experiences, but belt a kid in school and guess who cops the suspension????

Belt a kid out of school, or even belt someone when your older because they've called you names and guess who cops the "punishment".

Sad fact...No longer can you belt a kid or person in or out of school and get away with it easily....One statement to the right people and the person throwing the punch is the one wearing the long term grief. That includes saying to their face, "I'm going to belt you", without carrying through with the threat/promise..

I'm not saying its the right thing to do and that it won't land you in hot water, but I'd gladly cop a 3 day holiday from school if it meant that I wouldn't cop abuse for the rest of my time there.

Hell, get someone to video tape it and send it to a Current Affair and you'll be a celebrity like Casey Hynes. Tell your story on nation wide television and you'll be branded a hero.

People want the under dog to stand up for themselves. It's in every movie you've ever seen.

[prydey]

Originally Posted by MWTB

I'm 21, so I'm not long out of high school. I finished year 12 and spent my whole life in public education. I think I turned out pretty well. I don't go round causing trouble and I'm pretty well educated. With that said, however, I have no hesitation in kicking the **** out of someone if they try to cause problems with myself or my friends.

I suffered at the hands of bullies when I was in primary school for having a stupid last name. My family is Ukrainian and although I am 3rd generation Australian and have no real Ukranian features about me, I still have the surname. Kids used to pick on me relentlessly for it. It also didn't help that I was bigger (a bit overweight, and physically just larger) than them and a big softy.

It began in prep (first year of primary school for those who aren't sure). I remember sneaking into a classroom during lunch time crying and trying to work the phone to call my mum to come and pick me up, but due to the dial out system I couldn't.

It continued into grade 6 where I had toughened up a bit and ended up decking the kid who had picked on me for the whole time I was at school. After that, I carried much more confidence. From the time I was 14 years old I was 6 feet tall and still growing and had the confidence to tell people to **** off or belt them across the face if they gave me a hard time.

It's a sad fact, but the whole 'use your words' thing that you are fed from a young age is absolute crap. 9.9 times out of 10, it won't work and it will only get you picked on more. A good **** kicking is what bullies need, and I handed out a few myself and since then, I have not fell victim to any discrimination.

I wish my parents had put me in to boxing, Karate or muay Thai as a young child so I could have defended myself better when I was younger, but now as a 21 year old at 6'3 and 120kg, there aren't many people that intimidate me enough to get the upper hand and I'm glad my youth went the way it did because its made me a stronger person.

I hope your son deals with things the way I did. It'll suck to watch him go through it, but if he stays strong and finds his feet through it all, he'll be better for it as an adult.

Maybe I'm showing my young age by suggesting this, but I think you should enroll your son in muay thai or MMA classes, even if he doesn't want to do it. He'll learn very quickly how to make the bullies stop.

sounds like you turned into a bully yourself! you claim you are well educated but have no hesitation belting someone?? slight contradiction and doesn't sound well educated to me.

[Kable72]

Being a bully and not thinking twice to belt someone in a threatening situation are two completely different things, mate.

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by MWTB

I'm not saying its the right thing to do and that it won't land you in hot water, but I'd gladly cop a 3 day holiday from school if it meant that I wouldn't cop abuse for the rest of my time there.

Hell, get someone to video tape it and send it to a Current Affair and you'll be a celebrity like Casey Hynes. Tell your story on nation wide television and you'll be branded a hero.

People want the under dog to stand up for themselves. It's in every movie you've ever seen.

I can see where you're coming from, but the way things are these days that hot water can be very hot when you end up in the big house. Society has become that way, if you start belting people for bullying you, just to prove a point, you're the one that ends up in front of the magistrate.

BTW...ACA, and shows like that are beat ups.....I don't believe alot they have to say...It borders on a soapie

[MWTB]

Originally Posted by prydey

sounds like you turned into a bully yourself! you claim you are well educated but have no hesitation belting someone?? slight contradiction and doesn't sound well educated to me.

...Are you serious? I never said I go round asking for trouble, I said that when trouble finds me, I have no hesitation in finishing it so I don't get hurt. More people should feel this way. The bullying situation would go away VERY quickly.

So you say it makes me a bully to belt someone when they come up to me, ask me for a cigarette and then when I say no, they try and hit me across the face with a skateboard? Because that's happened before. I was out on a walk late at night after a fight with the (now) ex. Two skater kids were walking towards me and asked for a cigarette. I said no because I was in a **** mood, one of them tried to hit me across the head with their skateboard and he ended up with a most likely broken nose and jaw.

But I'm the bully in this situation, right?

[thefargo]

how about instead of blaming everyone, and wishing to belt everyone, you Attempt to follow the best, (and most rational) advice given.
Geez Louise suggested getting a copy of the school bully policy. Has the op done that. it was suggested to document it all, and present the facts to the school. I suggest when presenting the facts ask for the plan of follow up to be documented. Ask for a copy. Be a little constructive in what it is you want the school to do, rather than, take the easy path and blame everyone.
Revisit the school, if necessary, and re-present 'their' action plan, and if necessary ask some tough questions.
violence is not the answer, it never is. if we all took an eye for an eye, we'd all be blind.
it is difficult to 'sit back and watch your child suffer', but think carefully about the role model you promote.

[prydey]

Originally Posted by MWTB

...Are you serious? I never said I go round asking for trouble, I said that when trouble finds me, I have no hesitation in finishing it so I don't get hurt. More people should feel this way. The bullying situation would go away VERY quickly.

So you say it makes me a bully to belt someone when they come up to me, ask me for a cigarette and then when I say no, they try and hit me across the face with a skateboard? Because that's happened before. I was out on a walk late at night after a fight with the (now) ex. Two skater kids were walking towards me and asked for a cigarette. I said no because I was in a **** mood, one of them tried to hit me across the head with their skateboard and he ended up with a most likely broken nose and jaw.

But I'm the bully in this situation, right?

2 wrongs do not make a right!! yes, i was serious.

if skater boy reported you to the police, you would find it would be you who is in trouble with the law.

of course, doing nothing or runnning away just isn't 'macho' or 'manly'.

do people not read papers or see on the news about the amount of people (esp young people) who are now dead or in hospital because of the culture where people think its ok to settle things with physical violence. it all starts somewhere.

[Geez Louise]

This thread has turned into more than people just offering advice to the OP and I am surprised it is still open.

So many varying opinions and experiences shared, but do we really need to start attacking and debating each other on what we do or do not believe?

Cheers
Col

[b0son]

Originally Posted by prydey

if skater boy reported you to the police, you would find it would be you who is in trouble with the law.

self defense? provided your response is proportionate to the threat, you shouldnt have any legal issue.

given a skateboard to the head could kill, the assailant got off lightly.

[MWTB]

I agree with Geez Louise, this has turned into a personal experience thread now.

Back onto the topic. OP should definitely try and get the school to sort it out, but, in all likelihood, the school probably won't be able to do much. The two boys will have to sort it out themselves, and reasoning doesn't often get through to the kids doing the bullying.

I won't say any more about my personal opinion on the matter because apparently even though everyone is allowed an opinion, some members think mine (and others that agree with me) is wrong.

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by MWTB

...Are you serious? I never said I go round asking for trouble, I said that when trouble finds me, I have no hesitation in finishing it so I don't get hurt. More people should feel this way. The bullying situation would go away VERY quickly.

So you say it makes me a bully to belt someone when they come up to me, ask me for a cigarette and then when I say no, they try and hit me across the face with a skateboard? Because that's happened before. I was out on a walk late at night after a fight with the (now) ex. Two skater kids were walking towards me and asked for a cigarette. I said no because I was in a **** mood, one of them tried to hit me across the head with their skateboard and he ended up with a most likely broken nose and jaw.

But I'm the bully in this situation, right?

I won't go into specifics, but I had a situation a few years ago, where 2 drunk whipper snappers threatened to burn my house down, with my family inside....Yes, I hit the biggest one with a pole and knocked him out.

End result...I was $900 lighter, and got off the charges (assault causing bodily harm and carry an offensive weapon)....

So what I've been trying to put across to you, is you can be the one in the court room, defending these sorts of charges, carrying on the way you are...Yes, you could beat the charges, but it costs YOU to do it....

[AU Mont]

the amount of posts to reply to is very overwhelming, but i have read each one and taken your valid comments on board.

this thread does seem to have brought out alot of opinions, more than i thought it would, so this issue looks to be affecting/affected many people which is sad.

again everyone thanks for taking the time to make a post here, and i will update here again in the future for advice if there is a repeat of the rubbish ive posted so far. So far, ive removed my kids from the bus and driving them to school myself which has seemed to help things.

[AU Mont]

spoke too soon.

As of this afternoon my 6 yr old boy has been punched in the face twice in the last 2 weeks by a feral boy in his class "who does karate". Ive told him to punch him back, but hes afraid.

wife has gone to principle to get this little feral sorted, by god he better start getting some control over these bloody kids because im gonna tear that office up very very soon.

[Marquis]

Mate that sucks. I feel for you little fella. It is a big call to tell a timid kid to hit someone. It needs to be flush on the nose. Maybe slip a another big kid a few bucks to step in. Not necessarily to punch but a decent shove and let it be known to the ratbag that I am his mate so back off.
I dread the day of hearing about one of my 3 boys getting bullied. (grade 6,2 and kindy) I am glad they got heaps of mates and bullies are not tolerated at there school.
As a parent it would be a huge Bastard of a situation to be in.
If the ratbag is in karate find the class and have a chat to the sensay. If he is big on teaching kids the right thing it will not be tolerated. He should get the better kids to be slightly more forceful in a sparring match. See how he likes a few headshots

[Kesh]

infuriates me to here things like this.

I wasn't really bullied in primary school that much (I'm Indian, raised here most of my life though).

When I was in grade 4, a grade 6 guy came up to me and started talking about 'papadums' (apparently thats what you guys call it ). and making racist remarks

Told him to shut up and he punched me in the face in front of my friends, I got back up and punched him square in the face.. Never touched by anyone since.

I'm in Year 11 and as much as it sounds crazy, I'd encourage you to make your child to get along and perhaps befriend some of the naughtier kids, don't hang out with them, just be friends with them.

I'm sort of friends with people who do all sorts of dumb stuff, and this keeps me off trouble with their 'gangs' and stuff.

Hopefully your problem does get sorted (it will). It would be very hard on him.

[GeZza200]

Get your kids out of that school, my best mate tried to end his life 3 times last year because of bullying. He passed away in November 2011. I know you are trying to get it sorted asap but don't let it drag out at all. It has a massive effect on kids as we all know.

[neptune blue]

My son was bullied in primary school and at the peak was actually gang bashed as my wife was driving past the school

My wife took photos of the injuries and we began talking to the school. to my amazment none of the boys responsible were punished other than a bad behaviour notice sent to thier parents ..WTF

I asked for a copy of the schools bullyling policy and how they proposed to ensure my son was safe under their care
They brushed me off
A week later they received a letter from my solicitor pointing out their duty of care under law and what legal avenues I had with regards to to civil action against the school and the perpetrators

Best $350.00 I ever spent, the school principle crapped her pants and she was kissing my **** for weeks

eventually we moved out of the area and put my son into another school.
he made new friends but the letter worked

He is in high school now and has issues from time to time however he's a lot bigger that he used to be and has a good network of friends

he has also developed a reputation for taking no crap (even though he has never been in a fight)

I know exactly what you are going through and I feel for you and your children

I think that in my case the fear of being exposed for their non action through the courts and media plus the cost of potental of legal action scared them into doing something about it

I know it sucks that you have to fork out the $$ as your child is the victim and should be protected but we all know what kind of world we live in

best of luck and hope you can turn the table on them

[AU Mont]

gezza, thats horrible, really bad stuff to be dealing with.

marquis, talk to the karate instructor noted

raykay, good to see your dealing with the rubbish, but hanging around the bad kids is what im trying to keep my kids from doing, not befriending them. My 6yr is on the verge of being a ratbag himself because most his little group of friends are and he just wants to be accepted

neptune blue, nice work.

The teacher of my 6yr who was punched had a word to my eldest son and basically said my little boy is just being a drama queen and he will "get over it"

Well, ive written a note in my son's school diary to the teacher, and its enough to get me into trouble, however everyone else gets away with rot, why cant i?.........

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

gezza, thats horrible, really bad stuff to be dealing with.

marquis, talk to the karate instructor noted

raykay, good to see your dealing with the rubbish, but hanging around the bad kids is what im trying to keep my kids from doing, not befriending them. My 6yr is on the verge of being a ratbag himself because most his little group of friends are and he just wants to be accepted

neptune blue, nice work.

The teacher of my 6yr who was punched had a word to my eldest son and basically said my little boy is just being a drama queen and he will "get over it"

Well, ive written a note in my son's school diary to the teacher, and its enough to get me into trouble, however everyone else gets away with rot, why cant i?.........

I can understand why you did that. But I reckon if no action is taken or you get fobbed off, going the route neptune blue suggested is a worthy course to take to get them off their butts and help the issue instead of ignoring it. Don't try and fight this on your own, get the law on your side and see how you go. Yes you have to spend money on a solicitor, but frankly I would rather spend that to help ensure my child gets some proper legal support than hope for the best and pay even more money in medical bills later on.

[xisled]

Take pictures and take a statement from your son of the events. Talk to him about it and get as much details as you can. I understand it may be hard, but try get as much info.

Take it to the principle and show the statement. Advise if this continues you will be seeking legal advice about how the school is not showing their duty of care to protect your child. Try a bit of scare attics on the principle. Also notify the education department. Get as many people involved you can. The more people that know about this, means quicker things will get done. even say you will go to channel 7 and 9.

Also get a statement from your 6 year old. outlining what his teacher has said to your eldest son. That is not acceptable.

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

gezza, thats horrible, really bad stuff to be dealing with.

marquis, talk to the karate instructor noted

raykay, good to see your dealing with the rubbish, but hanging around the bad kids is what im trying to keep my kids from doing, not befriending them. My 6yr is on the verge of being a ratbag himself because most his little group of friends are and he just wants to be accepted

neptune blue, nice work.

The teacher of my 6yr who was punched had a word to my eldest son and basically said my little boy is just being a drama queen and he will "get over it"

Well, ive written a note in my son's school diary to the teacher, and its enough to get me into trouble, however everyone else gets away with rot, why cant i?.........

I feel sorry for your kids going through this crap, but you have already pointed out, the school don't give a toss, so writing notes in the diary isn't going to achieve squat within the school walls. They'll just use it as dunny paper.

Head to the phone, call the education department and tell them exactly what is going on...I will guarantee, the school will start bowing down licking your butt clean if you so desire....The crap they will cop from the education department will be that severe, this is what they'll end up doing.

By teaching your kids, going to the higher authority,(the education dept being the boss) will set them up for later life, if this sort of situation arises....They can then pass it onto their kids and so on....It's the way the world works.

[AU Mont]

me and the wife the wife have had a small talk this arve about starting our 6yr old in a different school next year as this school seems to have a habit of not doing anything about ferals.

i think this is the best way, hopefully he is not outkast too much being the "new kid" next year

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

me and the wife the wife have had a small talk this arve about starting our 6yr old in a different school next year as this school seems to have a habit of not doing anything about ferals.

i think this is the best way, hopefully he is not outkast too much being the "new kid" next year

Having a school with a history of doing diddly, goes to show no one bothers complaining to the higher authorities. I wouldn't mind betting, the principal has been there for quite a few years too....Generally how this sort of thing keeps going.

It's a shame taking him from one school to another, so hopefully he can make new friends quickly and get into a normal school life.

Good luck