Who still talks to family members ???

[302 XC]

Just chuckin this out there,
Do you still speak to family members,or are there some you dont talk to ???
Maybe you dont speak to the oldies,or a brother,or annoying sister
Maybe your from a happy family and speak to all family

If theres perhaps someone you dont speak to, how long has it been and who


For me , id say all family members, parents both real and step, brother and real and step sister
Havent spoke for near 15 years

[OffRoadFalcon]

I talk to every single one of my family, and love them all. Dad's side is smaller than mums, but still big. Mum's the youngest of 9 kids, so hers is massive!

Only ones I don't anymore is my great grandma who passed away in 2007 at 103, and one of my closest uncles, who passed away 2 months ago :(.

[Madaya]

I talk to all of my family (which admittedly is quite small, as we emigrated out here from pommy land in 1970). The folks are getting old, but I love them. My 2 kids and 1 grandkid, I adore. My older brother is pretty cool - but -
My younger brother, I have not actually spoken to (in casual conversation) for about 15 years. Drugs and booze have completely ruined this man's life. He's been inside for breaking restraining orders against my folks. Hates the sight of me, yelling threats and abuse.
Sad thing is, a departure from his daily drug intake (now mostly grog, he's 45 yo) and an uptake of prescription medicine could help turn this aggressive person and bring him back down to reality. Very sad

[BENT_8]

Unfortunately i am estranged (if thats the term for it) from 2 brothers, 4 sisters and all of their children and grandchildren.

When my father split from his first wife and met my mother they blamed her for their fathers leaving.
Having a vindictive mother filling their heads with poison didnt help.

I have had some contact with a few of them over the years but most times it ends in tears so i just avoid the situation these days.

Only this year i told my father he would have to excuse me from his funeral when the time comes as i know it will become a **** fight and i wouldn't want that to happen.
I told him i would be present at his burial, but would be watching from afar with two irish pipers playing Danny Boy.
That is his only wish, and not something they are privvy to.

Luckily enough i have a brother and 2 sisters from mums first marriage who i have contact with so i make the most of those occasions.

[MrEL]

Nah I dont talk to mine.
Consistantly arguments going back over many many years. Life is just much more peaceful without them around.
Its hard this time of year and I know eventually my decision to break ties will tear me apart but I need sanity in my life.

[The Yeti]

Mate hearing you,

Since my dad died we don't see most of my aunts and uncles cousins etc, it seems he was the glue.

From that side I talk to one uncle and one cousin on face book and there overseas or ove 4 hrs drive from here, the rest are all based in Sydney but are all doing their hair when I try to plan a get together (tried 6 times in the last 2 1/2 years? )

My sister hasn't spoken to my mum my other sister or I in the last 5 weeks the last correspondence was 3 weeks ago when she sms'd me to say she would try to make a christmas do I'm organising tomorrow

This time of year sucks

[LG17]

I talk to some and not others - remember you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends.
I had to talk to my 3 sisters last year because mum died and one of my sister's who I hadn't spoken to for about 8 years and I were the Executors of mum's estate. I only really talk to one of them every month or so.
My wife's sister knows if she ever tries to contact us that I will take her out for what she did to my wife about 14 years ago.
I only talk to cousins etc at someone's funeral that we all go to. In saying that, we live two thousand kms away from where most of them are.

Mmmm, now I remember why we moved!

[Legit290]

I have three boys 21, 19 and 13. I talk to them but with the ipods constantly attached they are probably not listening

[Bucknaked]

I use Facebook to stay in touch with relo's I wouldn't usually stay in touch with.

I have sister who I've not spoken too or seen in about 15 or 16 years

I come from a very big family with a lot of cousins aunts and uncles. My son hasn't met any of them and doesn't know anything about them and until recently never knew they existed. I will try to remedy that. Would be good for him to know his family line.

[H.G]

my older brother and his new wife basically told my parents (particularly my mother) go F themselves 1 week before xmas last year.. I sent him a text on his birthday and he on mine.. but Ive really got no time for anyone that disrespects my parents..especially after all they have done for us. I dont miss him.. but then we have always gotten along better when there is alot of distance between us... I guess Im still a mummys boy. because I cant forgive him for breaking her heart over and over again.. as did my eldest brother whom suicided way back in the early 90s

[supershifty]

I'm hearing ya 302XC. I'm the only child of a 2nd marriage, my parents and their parents are dead, and I have 5 half siblings born of the same womb. There is a large gap in age - I am the baby at 46yo. My nearest sibling is my brother at 56yo, the eldest of my 4 sisters is 66yo.

We've never been close, not I to them - nor them to each other. I use the term "them" because they are from a different father to mine.

There's no malice involved, we just are that way. I kinda like it that way too. (I've never known what it feels like to be in a "close" family though) We all just went off and created our own offspring with partners. My daughters (18+15) have cousins they've never met.

Having said that, blood is blood. I would not hesitate to help a family member if I was asked, and in a position to help out. Except one ....

I have a sister who's a judgemental, self righteous, condescending, materialistic, image conscious female dog. She refers to me as her "drunken bum half brother". Nice! Needless to say we don't talk - ever! The rest of my siblings tend to loathe her, but keep the peace.

What's the saying - you can choose friends, but not your family.

Cheers!

[ford71V8]

Originally Posted by supershifty

....I would not hesitate to help a family member if I was asked, and in a position to help out. Except one ....

I have a sister who's a judgemental, self righteous, condescending, materialistic, image conscious female dog. She refers to me as her "drunken bum half brother". Nice! Needless to say we don't talk - ever!
Cheers!

I wrote a post out for this thread but deleted it as it was fairly ugly, so I snatched this piece from Supershifty's post as it is remarkably accurate for my situation.
The fact that I don't see parents on Xmas day is because that's where they will be and they always choose the same way every year.
The only reason it bothers me is that my kids don't see their grandparents on Xmas day. And I know it could happen, we're all close enough location wise for it to be very simple...but no.

[ebxr8240]

Sheesh to above !!!
I have 1 brother in N.Z and other in U.S we ring each other on birthdays etc..
Go to NZ at least once a year and U.S every 2 or 3 years..
My parents have passed away.. We enjoy our grandchildren and get along big time with the daughter in-laws..

[superyob]

This thread is very sad... :(

[Happyone]

This is my new family I will talk to anyone here.

But in terms of my own immediate family apart from one of my sisters all the other scum bags can suck *****.

My dad past about 10 yrs ago ...mum may have well as !! one sister have not seen for 30 yrs, one step brother just wants to steal and bludge off everyone else....two younger sisters are a product of mum unfortunately (bitter twisted and want to pull everyone else down to her level.

Left it all behind me 32 years ago and have soared ahead of them all.

That old saying, if you lay with dogs you get their fleas is so true !!

The other true saying is ...life, is what you make of it !!

[dave351cid]

looks like i`m one of the lucky ones who still gets along with the relos.

i moveed interstate, about 1300km away from home 16 years ago so dont get to see them that much (except for my oldest brother who move as well and now live about 60km from me) but still keep intouch by phone / facebook etc and i ususally try and get home atleast once a year. i am actually on my way home now to spend christmas with sister, middle brother, step mother, and various cousins and auntys.

[FGII-XR6]

without going into details I'll just say you can pick your friends but you can't pick your relatives.

no contact for over 30 years

[T3ts50]

Originally Posted by au3xr6

without going into details I'll just say you can pick your friends but you can't pick your relatives.

I used to think like that, but when crap hit the fan with me, my family were the first to help out, where a lot of friends I considered close with pretty much jump shipped.

[302 XC]

Originally Posted by T3ts50

I used to think like that, but when crap hit the fan with me, my family were the first to help out, where a lot of friends I considered close with pretty much jump shipped.

You can pick genuine people morso in a time of need,rather than a time of greed

Its funny how many people we get to know over many years,but when the beer dries,the money dries,you move more than a street away
They cant be bothered
Theres a word for them,parasites

[ea90gl]

From what I see these days, the family that all get along are the odd ones out, so many families out there that have drama going on and unfortunately from the most silly little things like "oh she said this, he said that....". My family and relatives probably don't speak to each other/ catch up as much as we should but at least we all make efforts for special occasions etc. We all try to give a lending hand in time of need, other than that everyone leaves each other alone. I get along well with the wife's immediate family as do they with each other, but it's a bit different once the relatives come into the equation. There is a long history between my wife, her sister and mother vs the aunty and her two daughters. Yes they do make the effort to keep in touch and be all close but it all seems forced, and never mind the gossip and fakeness that inevitably rears it's ugly head in. On the other hand it could be worse like others have mentioned with people not speaking etc but sometimes I think that's probably the easier way. I believe someone mentioned it's the oldies that keep the younger families together which is so very true, I sometimes wonder what things will be like once they pass on, will we all drift apart without that influence or will everyone come to their own senses and make a genuine effort? I guess time will tell but for now I like to keep to my self and go with the flow, got no time for the real Day's Of Our Lives

[AU Mont]

VERY small family of us living in australia......... mum & Dad, brother & grandma.

Love them all to bits, except for my brother. He has always been more focused on being mr cool, and trying to impress & conform to his friends rather than being an uncle to my kids, and a brother to me.

While we are all at the park with mum & dad, hed rather be at the races with his mates sipping UDL's from a glass, wearing pink shirt with rolled up sleeves to expose dodgy tribal art sleeves, doing the mister hollywood thing

[Adamz Ghia]

I have two older brothers, the eldest, Tony, lives in Germany and the next one down, Mario, lives in Croatia. Myself and them have different dads, mum and their dad split up in the early 80's and when he came for one of his access visits in Warrnambool, he took the boys and put them on a plane and sent himself and them over to Croatia (Or Yougoslavia however you spell it) . Back then we had no formal ties with that country so there was nothing our governmnt could do to get the boys back. It made the papers and TV for a while but it all came to nothing.

Then mum got with my dad and I was born in 86, my sister in 92 and my brother in 96.

We had no contact with the boys at all until around 2000, their dad having filled their head with crap and twisting their minds. But with age comes wisdom and Tony was the first to make contact, then Mario a little later.

Tony came over in 2005, was the first time since he was taken that he had seen mum, he was 28. Was the first time I had ever spoken to him when he arrived at our house. He was here for 6 or 7 months before he went back, he just couldn't get used to life over here so he went back and has since had a family. We still talk often and he's due to come back with his family next Christmas, but I don't talk to Mario at all, never have. No reason, we have just stayed out of each others lives much to Mums hurt, however he and mum talk on the net and skype quite often.

I also have aunties, uncles, cousins and the like over there whom I've never met or spoken to, I have met my grandmother three times when I was born, then in 92 and again in 95, haven't seen her since.

The day will come when we're all together, I just hope it's off our own back and not because my grandmother has passed as she is up in years.

[Feathers]

I don't see much of my family. I'm the only child/only grandchild on my Dad's side. His mother's side are all but gone. I think I met a great aunt of his at my Grandmother's funeral a few years back.
His Dad's brother's family are lovely, though I've really only met one of their kids (she'd be 40+), they only live a few k's from us. I didn't meet them until I was 12 though, and it was only because I asked Dad about them.
We don't see them often though. Probably next at my Grandfather's brother's funeral. That won't be far away now I think. :(

Mum has an older brother, he has 2 kids, and 6 grandkids. We see him and his wife. I've met a few of his grandkids. Only his daughter's sons, not the son's daughters. The one I'm closest to in age is in jail for blowing up ATM's.

My cousins stopped coming to any family events like Christmas when they were 13-14. I've seen them maybe 3 times since then. They're not interested in having anything to do with us. My uncle is pretty sick with heart problems now, so I'd say once he dies, then we won't have any contact with that side of the family.

For me, I only have mum and dad left. They're the only links to the rest of the family, so once they're gone I'm on my own.

[tankclare]

Our family situation is a bit weird. Our whole family including uncles, aunts etc have always been very close and we would always be visiting each other and doing stuff. Then after my dad passed away in 2000 a few days before my 10th birthday everything changed. The following 2 years were ok but these days there is next to no contact. I will admit dad was the glue holding the family together.

My immediate family is very close. My 2 brothers are my best mates and we do everything together. Mum is just crazy out there funny mum lol. I think our hard past has a lot to do with how we are. We grew up a poor family, my sister was killed during a show ride accident in 1997, my dad fought kidney disease and was on dialysis for years before it took it took him in 2000.

I still try and keep contact with my cousins and family via facebook but thats about it. I only really see them at funerals or big birthday parties. I'm actually trying to organise a meet up with the relo's for a big BBQ and night out somewhere so will see where that goes.

Some relo's are obviously a pain to talk to but I try and keep the peace as best I can. Family is a big thing for me and even though I may not see very much (for years in some cases) if they ever needed help I would be there straight away.

[Powdered Toast Man]

There's some I don't see very often (some interstate cousins I don't see at all pretty much) but most of my family is pretty tight, especially my immediate family. Only one brother, the black sheep, I hardly see (I've got 2 other brothers, one with his own family). My folks still see his (the black sheep) children (their grandchildren) every once and a while but I haven't seen them in about 10 years.

My extended family on my mums side is quite big (she had 5 siblings) and 2 live (well 3, one uncle died but he's family is still here) in the same general area of the state, so family functions with aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews are common. Dad's side are all interstate so I only see my aunt when she visits my olds.

Couldn't imagine not having contact with the family. Always grown up visiting grandparents, aunts, uncles, family gatherings on special occasions, big Christmases. Don't have my own family yet (i.e. no missus, kids etc) so its the only family I've got.

[JAJH]

If this thread is indicative of the current state of affairs relating to families, then indeed it is very sad and makes you wonder what the kids of the kids are going to grow up like. How are they going to handle relationships in their adulthood when there role models (us) haven't been able to have healthy, loving relationships. This is not having a go at anyone, it's simply stating the obvious.
I, too have had a tough time over the last 20 years. I divorced my 1st wife when my 4 kids were very young and ever since had been bashing my head against a brick wall trying to maintain a good relationship with them. My ex, in all her wonderful wisdom has done nothing but poison my kids against me. You get to a point when you are bashing your head against a brick wall...it hurts like hell but it feels a lot better when you stop doing it. I have come to a realisation, I can't force my kids to love me or want a relationship with me, you have to make a choice to let them go and hopefully one day, they might see the light of day before it's too late.

[BENT_8]

Originally Posted by JAJH

If this thread is indicative of the current state of affairs relating to families, then indeed it is very sad and makes you wonder what the kids of the kids are going to grow up like. How are they going to handle relationships in their adulthood when there role models (us) haven't been able to have healthy, loving relationships. This is not having a go at anyone, it's simply stating the obvious.

Certainly is an eye opener, as was said before, very sad really.
When you have a broken family and you see everyone else having big family gatherings at this time of year you feel as if your situation is far from the norm.
It blows me away that so many of us AFF'ers are in the same boat, i never would have though that would be the case.

I always worry about the future of my kids, they really only have their grandparents, us, one of my sisters, 2 cousins and their 3 youngens.
I guess they're better off than some though.

It tears me apart that they have 2 dozen relatives all living within a 20k radius, but never have any contact due to the actions of others 36 years ago.
We often walk past some of them in the shops as if we were ships in the night, a quick glance, but nothing else.
The kids sometimes notice too, they sort of know who they are.

I guess threads like this, although sad, give us an opportunity to atleast think of the people we are detatched from at this time of year.

Merry Xmas all, heres hoping you have a safe and happy time whatever your situation.

[The Yeti]

Edit

Some things shouldnt be aired this way

[Spudz27]

Well I do not see my father or the kids he has wih the woman he cheated on my mum with. I used to see him as a teen because I had to, now I don't even ring him. My daughter is older than my youngest half sibling, my kids do not even know who is is and when they have met him a few times, rather than asked to be called grandad or something similar he said to call him by his first name. Not too mention he believes he is better than us all as he has a very high paying, technical job, so if the conversation is not about his job field or his interests he just switches off.

[The Yeti]

Well she didn't front, didn't bother to call. Only reason we new they wernt coming was because I rang to find out if we should wait for them before eating